It’s Done

It’s done!

I just spent the last half hour wrestling with sheets. To my surprise, I got the fitted sheet on the first go round. Now I am washing my comforter and the dirty sheets. I am fucking pooped. You would have thought that I did manual labor. My back is thanking me kindly for the struggle. I am happy that I changed my sheets finally.

I woke up this morning sneezing my head off. I knew then I had to change the sheets to see if that made a difference. Soon as I removed the sheets, I found foam had become dislodged and I had them all over my foam topper. I really need to replace it but I don’t know what to do with my current one. I will need to cut it up so that can be disposed of. But it’s heavy so I need to be careful with it. I remember when I got it years ago, it took two people to bring it up the stairs. I haven’t been able to find another foam topper, which is part of the problem. It has to be the same or my sheets aren’t going to fit.

With all the sneezing, I feel wicked congested. This time I am going to try just to keep my current book I am reading, journal, and laptop on my bed. And a notepad. These are the essentials. Mail and other stuff I’ll just put on my desk. It’s accumulating a very big pile. I will have to go through it one day. Not today though. My back is needed as today is my niece’s birthday. It wouldn’t be good for me not to show up.

I’m feeling really depressed despite my accomplishment. I am also really tired but I don’t have a blanket I can put on my bed until the comforter is washed and dried. I’m glad I took a shower last night. I don’t think taking a shower today would be a good thing.

I finally moved my bowels today. I was getting so worried. I think drinking extra water and taking fiber pills helped. But now that the hard stuff is out of the way, I worry about having the opposite problem because I was taking so much stuff to go. I was talking with a friend who takes more opioids than I do and she has to take something to reverse the binding effects of the medication. I know I got backed up because I wasn’t eating and taking the senna every day. If I don’t take the senna, I don’t go and it’s hard to get back on track.

I haven’t had coffee yet. I think I will have some Pike. I haven’t had it in a while. I also have the Hawaiian coffee that is stronger than the last batch I had. I will make that tomorrow.

It sucks that there isn’t anymore of my favorite sports playing. Baseball doesn’t start for another month and it won’t be on the radio until April. I am boycotting NESN because they fired Don Orsillo so I won’t be watching any baseball on TV. I like listening to the radio anyways. I listened the majority of the season last year.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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