Freezing Friday

Freezing Friday

Today was really cold but not as cold as it is going to get this weekend. It didn’t stop me from going out to finish my father’s appointment schedule, though we got a ride in from my sister. Now I just need to make another appointment for the idiot and call it a day. I made a call for physical therapy today. I hope to get a call Tuesday as Monday is a holiday.

As I was waiting for my father to finish his appointment, I was reading Twitter. I got to the news about the hospital and saw my psychiatrist’s name. She was quoted in some UK’s post about child anxiety (my psych is a child psychiatrist; I have seen her since I was 17). I was happy to see her name in my timeline. It was just a one line quote but it still made me happy that someone from the UK sought out her opinion on the matter.

It was really bright outside and I should have worn my sunglasses. Now I think I am coming down with a migraine because I feel really nauseous. It could also be because I have been up since 0530. I am tired. I didn’t have lunch and I am not really hungry. My stomach feels really bloated, which isn’t helping the nausea. I don’t know why I feel like I am a cow right now. I was feeling a little bit like this last night and it just carried over to today. I haven’t eaten anything that would cause this. Unless it’s fricken hormones. I just hope the feeling goes away. It’s very uncomfortable.

Pearl Jam tickets went on sale today at noon. They sold out in 37 minutes. Guess I am not going to the concert. I really would have loved to see them live. I guess I will just have to have my own concert in my room with the music really loud. Then I don’t have to worry about my crowd anxiety. I don’t know when I started feeling anxious in crowds. It’s gotten worse over the years so I tend to avoid them as much as possible.

I found my “Night Falls Fast” book. It’s a well worn copy as I have read it several times. I find reading about suicide helps the demons sometimes. I love Kay Redfield Jamison. She is a good writer though most of her books except her memoir are the same. There is pattern that I noticed when I went from “Touched with Fire” to “Night Falls Fast”. She loves to quote, a lot. There is text and then quotes. Throughout the whole book. And she loves to quote from Byron. I think all her books have some Byron poems in them. In “Touched with Fire”, there is a whole chapter on him. I wish I could write like that. If I do quote, it’s mostly going to be lyrics to some country song.

I was sad this morning to find out that the morning country music show people made their exit from the radio station. I don’t know why. I never was up early enough to listen to them but when I was, they were funny and made the time pass faster. I just hope they don’t get rid of my favorite DJ, Kruser. She is the last of the Mohicans, meaning she is the remaining original staff when the radio formed in the beginning. I fell in love with her. She is so cute and an absolute sweetheart. I have tweeted her a few times and actually got a response back. She is cool.

Next week, I am going to try writing my 850 word essays for my book. I’m also going to try and find the psychology book this weekend so I can “study” when I go to Starbucks.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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