rambling on and on

It’s been a rough couple of days because my father has been sick. I have been meaning to post a non-password protected post but I have been so exhausted, it hasn’t happened.

I am struggling because my sleep has been off the past few nights and then the asshole called me at 0630 this morning, waking me from a dead sleep, because he wanted to make sure I got him underwear (he is in the hospital for pneumonia). He is just beyond considerate of anyone’s sleep or needs or anything else. But I know that is the narcissist in him. Understanding the bastard has been the only way I stay in the loop. Otherwise, I would tell my sister the heave ho. She is at the same place I am but she works so has more stress on her than I do. I try to ease whatever stress I can for her.

I had my pain management appointment today. I cannot believe that medical assistants know NOTHING about medications. I know I always was interested in drugs since wanting to be a doctor myself, but come on! I know there had to be a pharmacology class you had to take to know the different schedule of drugs and what they were used for, etc. Every month I get the same medication refilled and the MA thinks it’s just a regular medication you get refilled. If it was, do you think I would need an appointment to get it?? Just pisses me off to no end.

I brought up to the NP that my ear was bothering because my nose keeps getting clogged. She thinks it’s rebound from Afrin, but I don’t think it is only because I don’t use it much for it to cause my nose to be this clogged up. She gave me Flonase to try to break up the congestion. It’s generic so I am weary of how it’s going to work. I haven’t been on it since I had a bad sinus infection years ago. It worked great, I could breathe. I hope the nasal spray is like Afrin where it doesn’t drip back down because that will be gross.

I am debating going back out tonight to pick up my prescriptions. I am just waiting for one to be done and then I will decide. I told them tomorrow would be fine and that might still be the case. I am just so damn tired and my ankle/foot is just bad. I walked a lot around the hospital today to get to my appointment and to my father’s building where he is staying. I don’t think I will visit him tomorrow. I need a rest from him. I am also going to put the do not disturb function on my phone when I go to bed tonight so he doesn’t call me. Whatever he needs, can wait until I am fucking awake.

I don’t know what I am going to have for supper. I am not hungry but I know I will be. My mother made a cauliflower casserole type thing but put too much fucking garlic in it. Garlic and cauliflower do not mix, in my opinion. But then I love cauliflower plain or with breadcrumbs and egg. I rather she make it that way. My stomach just has a hard time digesting garlic for some reason. It really bothers my stomach so I avoid it. I like the flavor but not the cloves. Maybe I will make pancakes.

I can’t wait for therapy tomorrow. I just hope I don’t spend all session talking about my damn father. Think I will text my therapist that he is off subject, again. Three straight days of dealing and I am done.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to rambling on and on

  1. I am really glad that you are setting boundaries with your father, and setting priorities on taking care of yourself. Using the do not disturb on your phone is great. I do that too. I figure any disaster or tragedy will still be there when I wake up. I don’t want to hear any fucking bad news on the middle of the night. Good news can also wait. Sleep reigns supreme.

    Seeing as MAs have, like, six or nine months of Mickey Mouse training, it’s amazing if they even know how to take a blood pressure, let alone what drugs are for. Did you know that PAs only have 26 months of training? What a sick joke. And the average salary for a PA is $90,000! Shit, not a bad deal for a quick whiz through junior college.

    My cauliflower and cheese casserole kicks serious butt. No garlic whatsoever.

    • Marie Isabelle Snyder says:

      PA’s do a heck of a lot more than junior college. They already have a BA. PA school is considered grad school, they take the GRE’s. It is no joke at all. My best friend is a PA and she went to UNC-CH for PA school after having completed her BS degree at U-Conn.

      • The problem is that PAs are being used in place of MDs. An MD had a Bachelor’s degree, four years of medical school, three to five years of residency, and usually a one to three year fellowship. That’s a bit more graduate school than 26 months.

        Due to the outrageously bad state of our medical system, PAs are being used in place of doctors, and expected to make treatment decisions that are far outside their scope of education.

        When the Physician Assistant programs were designed in the 1980s, it was intended to be a solution to a crisis in the shortage of qualified doctors, especially in places like rural health centers. The PA was exactly that: an ASSISTANT, not an independent provider. The PA must work under specific protocols, assess and treat specific cases, have their charts reviewed and signed by their SUPERVISING PHYSICIAN, and have a specified scope of practice. Anything outside that scope of practice MUST be handed off to the supervising physician.

        Unfortunately, due to the current crisis in the broken medical system, PAs are being expected to work independently, frequently waaaaay over their heads.

        I’m not discounting the value of PAs. They are simply being misused, and patients are suffering as a result.

  2. manyofus1980 says:

    i hope you ended up making the pancakes and enjoyed them. a treat was in order after dealing with your dad! Xx

any thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s