Long exhausting day

Long exhausting day

I had the appointment with my father and he got admitted. He was peaceful after he had something to eat. He didn’t give us any trouble like he did on Monday. I did a lot of walking as I had to drop off paperwork to my PCP’s office. I am going to try and get her to sign off on me being disabled because I can’t seem to get the information I need from SSD, which to me is ridiculous.

My father was in one building where he was seen by his doc and where he was admitted was like 10 blocks away. I had to walk fast to keep up with the volunteer that was escorting my father to his room. My ankle is fucking killing me. I felt like I walked all over the hospital, which I did. Trouble is, with a bum ankle, things are harder. Then while walking with my sister to the train station, I got the dry heaves. Migraine hit me. I didn’t get dizzy but I got really nauseous and then when the conductor loudly spoke announcements, my head exploded. I was miserable on the ride home.

My sister wanted to eat out but I was broke and nauseous so food wasn’t an option. I told her I would eat a pop tart when I got home. Though at this point it might be a hot dog. But I got to wait till this damn headache is gone and I can walk without pain.

My psychiatrist emailed me today to see how things are going. I told her what was happening. I also asked the resident if he thought my father was in liver failure and he said no. I was relieved. I didn’t tell my psych this. I will when I talk to her next.

Walgreens app, text, and email keeps telling me I need refills. What is annoying is that it doesn’t fucking tell me what medication needs to be refilled! I appreciate the alerts but without knowing what medication it is, it just isn’t helpful! I know I need a bunch. I think I got most of my meds on the same schedule, which is good because until June, I have to pay copays for them. I can just pay for all of them at once rather than one here and there.

I got really mad at my mother this morning. She kept on calling me when I was trying to go back to sleep. She wanted me to call her out for her appointment. I was so annoyed. Then she kept on playing her dice game that just irritated me further. I hate noise in the morning. I am not a morning person. It’s bad enough that today is trash day so I have to listen to hydraulics for most of the morning but to hear die hitting a glass tabletop is just annoying. And she does this over and over and over.

I didn’t have any caffeine today. I think that might be a reason why I got a headache. Right now I am in a lot of pain. I don’t think I am going to make something to eat. My choices are slim and what I really want, I can’t get.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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