Random 150

I got my haircut today. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the same as the one I got last month. I am almost bald. I should have gone to the other guy but the owner was free and I took a chance. Never again. I think I will try the new barber shop that opened in the Square. It’s going to take a month for my hair to grow out. I am kind of upset that my hair isn’t the way I want it.

I texted my therapist for an appointment but doesn’t look like she has time today. She must be busy because she hasn’t even texted me back, yet. It’s not that urgent that I talk with her today. I just feel like another session might help my grief. For some reason, I am really feeling it today. Other than getting my haircut, I have no other plans for the day. I thought about going to Starbucks but it’s really warm out and I know I won’t be able to get a seat. I am not really in the mood for a coffee anyways.

I didn’t watch John Adams last night like I wanted to. I was so tired that by 2200, I was toast. I slept till around 0800, which is good for me. I did have a weird dream. It was so weird that I am going to have to discuss it with my therapist on Tuesday if I don’t talk to her today. I think I will watch the movie today. I got to have some Oreos first. I bought Oreo Thins and they are so damn good. They have just the right amount of filling that I like. The danger is that I can eat the whole package in one sitting. Other than chocolate chip cookies, Oreos are my second favorite cookie.

Last night, I was productive before I passed out. I was able to get the forms needed to legally change my name and I finally found out how to go about it. I am so proud of myself. It’s going to cost me around $200 to do it, but I am hoping by July, I will legally be G. Collerone. I don’t know how long the proceedings take. And I don’t know if I need to make a court date or not. I am a little nervous and excited at the same time.

I think I am going to type up the story of the last two hours of my father’s life. I want to finish it so that it isn’t haunting me anymore. I know I will always have the memories but I just want them written out lest I forget a detail or two. I just hope it doesn’t land me back in the hospital.

I am going to see if my brother-in-law can put in my AC tonight. It’s getting really warm and I hate it. I love it when it is cool not sweltering hot. I can’t believe that I have practically no hair yet my scalp is so itchy. I have tried different shampoos and conditioners, head and shoulders, Selson Blue, you name it yet my head still itches. I think I need to see a dermatologist or something.

I just had my amazing cheeseburger with avocados and pickles. I am still hungry. I might have a yogurt. I bought Greek yogurt with honey. I like Greek better than regular yogurt. It has a creamier texture. Tonight I plan on making steak. I haven’t had it in a long time. I am going to make the Bolognese sauce tomorrow so the ground beef doesn’t go bad. I was planning on making it on Sunday but the meat will go bad by then and I don’t want to freeze it then thaw it out in a few days time. I hope it comes out as good as I am hoping. My mother keeps calling it a “dirty gravy”.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Random 150

  1. Hey, I’ve been out of touch for a while, working on rewriting our book. It sounds like you are doing well, relatively speaking. So happy for you!

  2. 'M.' says:

    I can now say that I know an ‘O.G
    ‘, hehe 😁😁😁

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