Lazy Friday

Lazy Friday

I woke up before noon and made coffee. Then I made breakfast/lunch of a bacon and cheese sandwich. By the time I finished that, I was exhausted. I needed a nap and seeing as I wasn’t going out today, I napped. My mother called me around 1600 to let me know dinner was ready. I must have slept for at least 2.5 hours. I was having weird dreams so I am glad I woke up.

I didn’t do anything today. I went to bed really late last night as I just couldn’t sleep. I was reading well into the wee hours of the morning, which is why I was so tired today. I think I will read some Adler when I go retrieve the binder when I empty my recycling bin. I haven’t been outside all day. Mostly just been in my room.

The Sox game is on late tonight and probably will be all weekend. They are on the west coast and I hate the games because they are on so late, which means I am up late watching or hearing them play. Last night’s game went to extra innings so didn’t get over till after 0100. I was wired by then, whether the espresso I had earlier in the day had something to do with it, who knows. I tell myself I am not going to watch it then I do then I regret it as I am up all night.

I was reading three books last night. I started with Dostoevsky. Then I decided to read some Lawrence Block. In the wee hours of the morning when I couldn’t sleep, I decided to read a book about fieldstones in writing. It was annoying me so I had to put it down and then I finally fell asleep. It was a good book to let your mind wander about things as you are trying to sleep. I have a friend that uses this “stone method” in her writing. It works for her. Unfortunately, I still haven’t found my niche for writing. I just go on the fly. Whatever comes, comes and if it doesn’t, I really don’t give a shit.

While I was in the kitchen this morning, there were several flies on the screens. I thought they were outside but they were actually in the house. I played fly swatterer for a while before I cooked my breakfast. It was kind of a fun game. I still have no idea how they got in the house. They are gone now though.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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