To The Concerned Anonymous Asshole

To The Concerned Anonymous Asshole,

I am assuming you are still reading my blog to fulfill your hero needs. Let me tell you something, YOU have destroyed my world, more so than it already was. A piece of myself has been betrayed the moment you felt dignified to call the cops to my door. I now feel that I have no place to share my suicidal feelings. I was talking to my therapist about this. She said that can be very dangerous. I hope you realize this. I don’t mean to tell the world that I am suicidal all the time because like depression, it ebbs and flows. This blog is about all that if you happen to read it. Hell, the top right corner says that this is “one person’s struggle with suicidal thoughts and chronic pain” you dumbass.

If you happen to notice the pages of my blog, I HIGHLY recommend you read “What my blog is about”. But obviously, my blog isn’t about me. It has become about you as you feel you are holier than thou. Do you know how hard it is to struggle every day with suicidal thoughts? Maybe you had a loved one die by suicide and you are damned to let that happen again. The fact that I am still here, angry, should tell you something, you jerk. I write to blow off steam, and I know if has the flavor of becoming concerning to people, but you as a reader, had the opportunity to comment before calling the cops. Now my suicidal thoughts are going to go underground and become more self-destructive. I hope that you are happy with yourself. You might have saved me this week or this month, but the suffering will continue. You cannot stop me indefinitely. NO ONE CAN. And if you think that you can, you are deluding yourself.

What gives you the right to think you can stop another’s pain? Who gave you that right? I certainly didn’t give it to you. In fact, right after I posted the blog that sent you on your holy high mission to save me, I had shared my blog with a suicide prevention therapist. He didn’t feel that my life was threatened in that very moment. What gave you that special power over him to wreck my life and my family? But go on reading. You need help more than I ever will. And if I ever find out who the hell you are, I will not be so cordial in my response.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in blogging, mood disorders, suicide, suicide attempt and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to To The Concerned Anonymous Asshole

  1. G. Collerone says:

    It is most appreciated. 🙂

  2. thefeatheredsleep says:

    I will always support you because you deserve it and you will see that you are worth so much more than you feel when you are sad. I know that feeling, but it isn’t the truth, though it feels real it really is not. Hold on. There are good things about life, it isn’t easy at times, not at all but it’s out there. Do not turn on yourself, the world already does that so much, we must try to protect ourselves by believing in ourselves. I know it’s hard, I struggle with it, but just try, it helps, each little bit helps. Meanwhile, know you are not alone and your words MATTER

  3. G. Collerone says:

    Thank you for being so supportive. It means a lot

  4. thefeatheredsleep says:

    My friend – it will pass – it will. I felt just like you did I swear it and I felt so betrayed and angry then defeated and lost, then furious and vengeful then just empty and discouraged. Try to climb outside all the emotions, not now but later, and realize nobody has the power to ruin you unless you give them permission (I may not always take my own advice but I try so hard to believe this) and feel the fear of this and do it anyway, be yourself in a world that is always trying to make you conform because I swear it will be worth it in the long run. Meanwhile just know, not everyone is an asshole and many people totally ‘get’ you and like you, and screw those who don’t (not literally!) xoxoxo HUGS

  5. G. Collerone says:

    Sure. If you are willing to share

  6. Maribelle says:

    Keep writing!!! I would like to share my childhood experience with you, if you would like to hear it. The storm is now officially a hurricane so it may be some time before I can write it out. But I wanted to check with you first as my perception is different from yours and I don’t want to offend you. Take care. Time to brace for the wind and rain.

  7. G. Collerone says:

    thank you. I will try to continue this blog but I am in a state of shock right now and am afraid to write. I hope it passes

  8. thefeatheredsleep says:

    I had that experience it’s the worst. Just know, there are some scumbags out there but you are still a lovely soul and don’t let their venom put you off being you. xo

any thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s