Case of the Mondays

I hardly slept last night, which is getting to be my routine. my mother woke me up when she got up and then my alarm went off. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I wanted to leave the house by 0830 but by the time the sheets and blankets stopped holding me hostage, it was 0835. crap. I quickly got dressed and ran to the bus stop. luckily I didn’t have to wait long.
The trains were severely delayed due to a medical emergency at one of the stops. I waited for 5 trains and they were all full. by the time the 5th train rolled into the station, I was supposed to be at my appointment. I said fuck this and took the bus to the Square. I had my espresso and breakfast. I was really tired but by the time I finished my sandwich, I missed the bus. Just my luck. I had to wait an hour for the next one. 

I decided to write in my journal but didn’t get too far. I guess CBT is not meant for me. I texted my therapist about the delays and missing my appointment. I also texted her that I was canceling our appointments this week. I haven’t heard back from her so I hope she isn’t avoiding me. she likes to play games with our times. drives me crazy.

I came home and my mother was watching TV really loud. I have been trying to sleep but my mother is making it impossible. She is baking and watching TV in the kitchen with the volume at full blast. I took some pain meds because the brace I had on made my ankle hurt and it still is smarting from last night, plus all the standing I did at the station didn’t help. 

I’ve been reading twitter since I came home. the delays from this morning are finally clear. Figures. I really want to nap. Meds are making me drowsy so maybe I will. I just need to block out the noise in the kitchen.Least there isn’t construction going on today. I would really lose it.

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About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mental disorders, mental illness, mood disorders, psychosis and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Case of the Mondays

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    sorry you missed the cbt apt. but did you really want to go? lol. still tho you made an effort to go and for what? to miss it because of delays ug. xxx

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