This was posted in the CRPS and RSD group on FB.
CHRONIC ILLNESS and DISABILITY causes GRIEF: by: Angela Piccolotti
No one tells you that you will grieve when you become disabled and/or chronically ill. Grief is expected when a loved one dies but you don’t expect it when you experience a chronic illness or disability.
The process is the same. You go through all the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are our attempts to process change and protect ourselves while we adapt to our new reality. The feelings are the same. The only difference is that instead of a loved one dying, it’s like you’ve died. Your life’s hopes, dreams, and plans are dead. Who you were and who you wanted to become are gone. Everything you used to be. All forever changed.
You break your own heart over and over again because you have hope of a restored body and life but no matter what you do you can’t achieve them.
It’s like you’ve died, but still you’re still breathing and you still have a pulse. You’re a ghost in your own life, a shell of your former self. You are haunted by your old self, your old life, your old hopes and dreams, your former health, all you used to be and all you used to be able to do. You remember everything you’ve lost. It’s heartbreaking!
You feel like you’re just taking up space. You feel so worthless. You can no longer DO. You can only sit by idle as life goes on without you being able to participate in it. It’s agonizingly painful!