Tag: college football

UO VS OSU Ducks vs Buckeyes

by Midnight Demon, posted in bipolar, blogging, depression

UO VS OSU Ducks vs Buckeyes

It’s college football night and my team, OSU is playing Oregon. So far the consensus is going for the ducks (UO) to win. We’ll see. I haven’t decided if I am going to watch it or just play by ear with Twitter. I am wicked cold right now, and am in double layers to stay warm, even though the heat kicked on about an hour ago. My room takes forever to heat because our heating system sucks. It only has two setting, freezing cold or blazing hot. I would like the cold, normally, but it is causing me to have cramps in my feet and I don’t like that!

I skipped my PT appointment today. I had to go to my father’s and there was no way I was going to do both. My foot is killing me because it cramped up on me, twice. I have been waiting for my therapist to text me with a time but it doesn’t look likely at this point. I am still feeling like a useless pile of shit but the feeling isn’t as big as an abyss. Yesterday was horrible but today is more manageable. I have noticed that when I am like this, it seems like forever to write a blog. I just am not too focused on writing because I don’t really know what to say. But then it is hard to think when your foot is throbbing really bad. And you are very cold and want nothing more to do with a laptop. You just want to get under the covers and sleep. I made that mistake last night. I went to bed at 1830 and then woke up around 0045. I then stayed up till I think 0400. It really did me in for today because I just wanted to sleep all day. I really just wanted to go to my appt and then go to the Square to cash my check and have coffee. But that was spoiled when my sister told me to go to my father’s to give him something. It was kind of good that I did go over there as they changed one of his medications so I had to make the change in his box. I didn’t stay too long. I just did what I had to do then high tailed out of there.

I waited for the bus at the station and there were junkies there. One woman looked so stoned she couldn’t stay standing up for too long. She kept bending over like she was going to fall over. I was hoping that she didn’t get on the bus I needed to get on. And she didn’t.

Don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I lost 11 followers on Twitter the other night during the Pats game. I think it was because either a) I was swearing too much or b) the bunch of new followers I got were bots. Or it could be that I didn’t follow back some of the people. I don’t follow back unless I know the person and we actually converse. I should have gave a warning that I was watching a game but neglected to do so. If I watch the OSU game tonight, I might be swearing if the game doesn’t go towards OSU. I was swearing a lot on Saturday because the Pats were playing like shit the first half. I get really animated in these games and I take it out on social media.

BUCKEYES WON!! National CHAMPIONS!! I am so damn happy!! And my favorite player, Zeke Elliot, got MVP of the game. I watched the last half (quarters 3&4). There were some moments I wanted to swear but I didn’t. And I loved the two interceptions the Buckeyes made to put them up over the Ducks. YAHOO!!

Ohio State Wins Sugar Bowl!!

by Midnight Demon, posted in chronic physical pain, depression

Ohio State Wins Sugar Bowl!!

I didn’t write yesterday because I was so sleepy. I was only to up enough to watch part of the 3rd and 4th quarter of the OSU game. I saw the INT Bama threw that lead to a touchdown. I knew they were going to win then. This team is unbelievable. They beat the #1 seed in college football. I love them! I will be getting an OSU hat next month when my check comes in. I need it.

I don’t know if I will be going out today. I woke up with pain, not horrendous but enough to wake me up. And now my stomach is playing rolly polly. I feel so sick. I hardly ate anything yesterday, just a ham sandwich. Then I ate around midnight when I was watching the game. I had a bowl of cereal and then a bagel. I also had some chocolate. I think the chocolate is what is upsetting my stomach. I had some the other morning and for some reason, I got really sick after I ate it. It’s German chocolate, from Germany, that my friend gave me for Christmas when I saw her the other night. Chocolate has never caused me to feel sick, ever! I hope I am not getting a stomach bug. That would be terrible.

Four days till I talk to my therapist. I can’t wait. We have much to discuss and catch up on. I feel like it has been ages since we last talked but it has only been a week. I have been writing her letters which I hope to send out today. I just hope my stomach settles down. I also want to work on the blog thingy about the SSF and CAMS. I wrote to my therapist about the difficulties I have been having with this blog. I think I am putting too much pressure on myself because I want it to be liked by the mental health professionals that follow me on Twitter. I value their opinion very seriously. I think that is why I have been having a hard time writing. It’s because I don’t know what they are going to think that is bothering me. But I haven’t written anything so what is there to judge!? I think I am just stressing myself out for no reason. Once I have the paper written, then I can freak out. I just wish I could have the first sentence written so I can start the damn thing.

I need to take a shower today. I don’t know when it will be but I do need one. I can’t remember the last time I showered, which is a good reason to take one! I brushed my teeth yesterday. I changed my toothbrushes but even though they say “soft”, they feel hard. I might have to buy new ones.

It’s cold out, like 33 degrees but it feels like 28. I hate the cold, only because it can cause cramps in my back. I will be waiting for the bus for at least twenty minutes. That is a long time in the cold. I guess I will wear my Georgetown hoodie with my jacket. If I knew where I put my OSU hoodie, I would wear that, especially since they won last night. I don’t remember when I last wore it so it could be anywhere, in my office or in my room. Those are the only two places it could be. I haven’t seen it in my room so most likely it is in a pile of clothes in my office. One of these days, I will organize my clothes and hang them up and put it in the closet.

Today is a regular business day so the buses should be running on weekday schedule. I really don’t feel like having a latte though. Maybe I will make some chamomile tea before I leave the house. It is still early to be going to Starbucks. I have been up for two hours, playing my game and writing this blog.

I think I am depressed because I slept all day yesterday. I was just so damn sleepy. But then, I really didn’t sleep well the night before. I kept having to go to the bathroom every couple of hours, either to do #1 or #2. I didn’t even take anything so I don’t know why I was going at the wee hours of the morning. But when you got to go, you got to go!

I am so happy OSU won. I think there is one more championship game next week they will play. I don’t know if it is a bowl game or not. But I will find out soon enough.

random 498

by Midnight Demon, posted in blogging, chronic physical pain, college football, depression

Got about two hours before the Pats game starts. Figure I would do some writing.

Back is better but the same as I can’t really stand too long and I can’t sit too long either. This sucks. I really was hoping that being back on my pain meds whenever I needed it would settle it down but it hasn’t. I tried to do some PT exercises today and they went well. I didn’t do the pelvic tilt exercise because I still am sore and just trying to move my pelvis hurts.

I found out today that one of the head coaches for Nebraska was fired today. I find it sad because he had been with Nebraska for so long (7yrs). But the team has been sucking, losing a lot of games this year. I haven’t really been following them because the games are not near me or on my network. I just get updates from the CFB app and Twitter. But it hasn’t been good updates. They might be winning in the first half then lose in the second. Very rarely have they held onto a lead. I don’t know what the w/l games are but it doesn’t look like they will be heading to a bowl this year. They have not announced the replacement. It seems sucky to do with just a few games left of the season. But what do I know. It happens in baseball all the time, firing the manager near the end of the season so why not football.

It’s warm out today as the snow has melted but it’s cold in my room. I am debating putting on a long sleeved T shirt. But I am braving the cold as all I need to do is go under the covers as I am in bed. I am always in my bed when typing my blog or on my laptop. It is my “office”. Only thing I can’t seem to do is write something meaningful and insightful. And that frustrates me. I don’t know why that is. I haven’t had coffee today. I thought about getting a cup but then I realized there is no more cream. OI, the nuances of getting a cup of coffee at home! Tomorrow if I am feeling better I will go to the store and get some cream. I would have gone today but I didn’t want to tweak my back again like I did yesterday. I got to stop sneezing or I am never going to get better! Even with an antihistamine, I have been sneezing. It isn’t doing my back any favors!

I really want a rice dish for dinner tonight but there is no rice in the house. Figures. I would make it but I suck at making it. I either overcook it, under cook it, or burn it. I like the 90 sec rice from Uncle Bens. You can’t screw that up!

With my back acting up, I am surprised I am not having more PTSD symptoms. I think because the pain is localized in my lower back and not shooting down my legs, I think that is one reason. Either that or I am trying hard not to let it get to me. I am getting worried though as this has been a week and it doesn’t seem like it is getting better. But then, I haven’t hurt my back in so long that maybe this is going to stick around a little while because I am “babying” it. I am trying to do more stuff but it hurts if I stand too long. Even the few minutes it takes to cook an egg, hurts my back. I also am not as depressed as I was before I hurt my back so that is good. I just hope that this mood change stays the way it is and I don’t crash.

No Latte Today

by Midnight Demon, posted in bipolar, blogging, depression

No latte today

I thought I was well enough to go into town today to get a latte but the walk just to the bus stop proved to be more than I bargained for. I was cramping up big time so just decided to get my prescriptions and call it a day. I got to the pharmacy and of course had to wait because they are so damn slow, especially on the weekends. I then find out my debit card can’t be processed. Luckily I had another one to use. I thought I might have mismanaged my funds but nope, McAfee decided to go ahead and charge me $100, making my account insufficient! It is going to take 5 fucking business days to clear up! I am so pissed!!

I then had to empty my recycles because they were getting all over the place. I should have emptied them last week but I didn’t know I was going to take out my back with a sneeze. I am moving okay today, but like I said, I am cramping up for some reason. This sucks. I probably am just dehydrated but with my funds all screwed up, I can’t replenish my powerade supply until next week. I hope it will be on sale. So much for trying to save money.

I just realized that I cannot replenish my Starbucks funds until next month. I have $7 left in that account. So technically, 2 lattes. What pisses me off is that I didn’t have the full amount of the McAfee charge in my account, which brought my account in the red. Yet, when they wanted me to renew, they kept lowering the price. They first said $80, then half that, then $24. So why the hell were they charging me fucking $100??? No matter, I will get the CD from Best Buy, which will be around $40, next month and then I won’t have to worry about it for a year. I like them better than Norton so I like to stick with them, even though they are crooks.

Today, I have decided I am just going to eat pie all day. I started off the day (0700) with chocolate pudding pie. Now I am going to eat custard pie. Then tonight, I will have some turkey, if there is any left over and cherry pie. Got to have some sort of protein! LOL

Being aggravated has not helped my back situation. It is really tense. I took some Ativan to calm it down as it’s the only thing I can think of to do for the cramps.

OSU is beating Michigan right now and I am happy about that. I haven’t been watching the game but have been getting updates on my phone. It’s been a tight game. JT Barrett has passed the most TDs by a QB. It’s an all time CFB record. I am very happy about that!

Ativan seems to be kicking its head in right now as I am feeling very sleepy. I didn’t sleep very well last night because of pain. I hope that I can snooze for a little bit. But my QB got hurt in the 4th quarter and there is no update on his injury. FUCK! He was such a good QB too! But we did beat Michigan 42-28.