OSU hat and other things

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OSU hat and other things

I finally got my official OSU (Ohio State) hat today. In the box it was sent it, I also got a bunch of snacks. There were sample packs of gum, Combos pretzels, and other stuff. I thought it was really cool to get these things. I never got more than what I paid for before.

I saw my pdoc today. We discussed the pain I have been having and the corresponding depression that I am in because of it. She thinks it might be the nerve connections growing back. It’s a painful process but it could mean that I could get sensation back in my foot where it is numb and weak. That would be good because finding out that I stepped on something and it’s embedded in my foot is not a good thing. I had a tiny piece of stone in my foot a few months ago. I have no idea how long it had been in there as skin was almost covering it up. I couldn’t believe it. But a piece of stone is better than a piece of glass. I will never forget the time my mother broke a glass in the bathroom and a fragment was left behind. I stepped on it as I walk barefoot. I thought it was a piece of rock and it was this piece of glass. Had no feeling in my foot whatsoever as I didn’t feel it puncture my skin at all. All thanks to having cauda equina syndrome.

I am extremely tired. I have been up since 0630. Before my pdoc’s appointment, I had to go to my father’s. As I was approaching my father’s apartment, his doctor called to tell me his INR (Coumadin level) was low. I said I would investigate and call her back. Turns out the ass hasn’t been taking his night meds. He must have missed a few nights for his level to be low. I wanted to strangle him. He is at risk of stroke not only because of his age but because he has an irregular heart rhythm. So he has to take this medicine to keep his blood thin to prevent a clot. I regaled the story to my sister and she tells me he starts his meds on Monday. WTF. He has to take them every fucking day and night. I am so frustrated because I am the one the docs go to when there is a problem with his blood work. He doesn’t understand or care, I don’t know which. I am too tired to figure it out. I don’t live with him so I am not there when he takes his meds. And I will be damned if I have to make a special trip every night to his house to make sure he is compliant.

I should have ordered Thai food for dinner but I wasn’t hungry when I left my pdoc’s office. I really would love King and I’s Pad Thai. I haven’t had a decent Pad Thai since I left work three years ago. There is a place in my town that makes it that is comparable but it’s not the same as King and I’s.

The one thing I did forget to talk about with my pdoc is the PTSD symptoms I have been having with my anniversary coming up. I think the stress of being in pain while I was seeing her made me forget. I really didn’t want to see her. I just wanted to go home and put my foot up. I might shoot her an email. I really just want to get through next week without it bothering me but I doubt that will happen. It’s really hard to forget something like having to go through two surgeries for the same problem. And then to find out that your second surgery had to be done because a disc fragment was embedded in the L3 nerve root. You never get over the anger of dealing with something like this. I have tried letting it go but it is very hard to do when you are in pain every day because of this injury. And now to suffer the consequences of surgery and scar tissue, it’s just too much.

Ohio State Wins Sugar Bowl!!

Ohio State Wins Sugar Bowl!!

I didn’t write yesterday because I was so sleepy. I was only to up enough to watch part of the 3rd and 4th quarter of the OSU game. I saw the INT Bama threw that lead to a touchdown. I knew they were going to win then. This team is unbelievable. They beat the #1 seed in college football. I love them! I will be getting an OSU hat next month when my check comes in. I need it.

I don’t know if I will be going out today. I woke up with pain, not horrendous but enough to wake me up. And now my stomach is playing rolly polly. I feel so sick. I hardly ate anything yesterday, just a ham sandwich. Then I ate around midnight when I was watching the game. I had a bowl of cereal and then a bagel. I also had some chocolate. I think the chocolate is what is upsetting my stomach. I had some the other morning and for some reason, I got really sick after I ate it. It’s German chocolate, from Germany, that my friend gave me for Christmas when I saw her the other night. Chocolate has never caused me to feel sick, ever! I hope I am not getting a stomach bug. That would be terrible.

Four days till I talk to my therapist. I can’t wait. We have much to discuss and catch up on. I feel like it has been ages since we last talked but it has only been a week. I have been writing her letters which I hope to send out today. I just hope my stomach settles down. I also want to work on the blog thingy about the SSF and CAMS. I wrote to my therapist about the difficulties I have been having with this blog. I think I am putting too much pressure on myself because I want it to be liked by the mental health professionals that follow me on Twitter. I value their opinion very seriously. I think that is why I have been having a hard time writing. It’s because I don’t know what they are going to think that is bothering me. But I haven’t written anything so what is there to judge!? I think I am just stressing myself out for no reason. Once I have the paper written, then I can freak out. I just wish I could have the first sentence written so I can start the damn thing.

I need to take a shower today. I don’t know when it will be but I do need one. I can’t remember the last time I showered, which is a good reason to take one! I brushed my teeth yesterday. I changed my toothbrushes but even though they say “soft”, they feel hard. I might have to buy new ones.

It’s cold out, like 33 degrees but it feels like 28. I hate the cold, only because it can cause cramps in my back. I will be waiting for the bus for at least twenty minutes. That is a long time in the cold. I guess I will wear my Georgetown hoodie with my jacket. If I knew where I put my OSU hoodie, I would wear that, especially since they won last night. I don’t remember when I last wore it so it could be anywhere, in my office or in my room. Those are the only two places it could be. I haven’t seen it in my room so most likely it is in a pile of clothes in my office. One of these days, I will organize my clothes and hang them up and put it in the closet.

Today is a regular business day so the buses should be running on weekday schedule. I really don’t feel like having a latte though. Maybe I will make some chamomile tea before I leave the house. It is still early to be going to Starbucks. I have been up for two hours, playing my game and writing this blog.

I think I am depressed because I slept all day yesterday. I was just so damn sleepy. But then, I really didn’t sleep well the night before. I kept having to go to the bathroom every couple of hours, either to do #1 or #2. I didn’t even take anything so I don’t know why I was going at the wee hours of the morning. But when you got to go, you got to go!

I am so happy OSU won. I think there is one more championship game next week they will play. I don’t know if it is a bowl game or not. But I will find out soon enough.

The 2012 Postseason (baseball)

Wednesday’s night game against the Skankees was horrible. The Sox couldn’t win and the Skanks didn’t even try to give them the game. After all the Bronx Bombers were after the AL East title. A Sad fact that they have won the last 13 of 17. These overpriced bastards just kill me. I didn’t watch the game from end to end. I stopped watching after Dice K gave up two homers in the same inning, giving the snakes a 5 zip lead. It was really pitiful. The tweet hashtag of the game was #SoLongSox. I am depressed because there is no more games of my favorite teams. I am now watching the other teams because baseball is my favorite sport of all time. I just can’t let it go because the home team is done for the season. I have to see how this ends and who wins the World Series.

Right now I am watching the Braves play the Cards. Braves are losing due to an error by their third baseman. I really don’t want the Cards to win. The Braves have not been to the world series in a long time but this year I am rooting for the Nationals, formerly known as the Montreal Expos. After two years as an American team, the Nats have made it to their first post season since 1933. I would really love for the Nats to play the O’s and for the Nats to win. You have to root for the NL team because the Sox are on the AL league, You can root for any team that plays the Skankees. It is the rule. The saying goes “I have two favorite teams, the _____ and whoever plays the Yankees”.

I am in my element tonight. I have two games tonight and tomorrow I have college football. I usually end up watching football all afternoon and evening. Tomorrow is going to be tough because my two favorite teams, the Buckeyes and the Huskers are playing each other. Who do you root for? Because I have been following the Huskers closer than the Buckeyes, I have to root for Nebraska. Why does this east coast guy root for a Midwest team? Easy. My best college friend is from Nebraska and I got to see them play in 1996 on New Year’s day and was so impressed with them, I just became a fan. Why Ohio? Because I want to go to grad school there. Not like being a fan will make me get into their PhD program, but the Buckeyes have always been winners in my book.