That is how I have been feeling the last two days. I just feel like the end of the world has come upon me. I don’t want to do anything, I just want to sleep.
Monday I have a meeting with a group therapy leader and I am thinking it is just too much to go. I want to but in this state all I want to do is fuck it all. I have no energy to eat, though I have forced myself to have a little of something. And to drink my slim fast shakes. Today I had Chinese food and I didn’t even enjoy it or finish it. I guess I will have it for later or tomorrow.
My sister texted me today saying she hasn’t seen me. Well I don’t feel like going downstairs. I don’t feel like going out. I just want to be left alone, away from everybody. The next few weeks are going to be rough and I am not sure how I am going to handle it. I am beyond coping right now.
The group leader sent me a packet I am to fill out. It’s like twenty pages long. Some intake. I hardly feel like writing a blog let alone fill out twenty pages of god knows what. I am so tired. Maybe I will just deal with that tomorrow and sleep the rest of today. I have never felt this bad before. I have never had this loss of energy and motivation before. This really sucks. I know most of it has to do with my menses. I just feel so defeated. Like I was going to make this huge change and was expected it to go kind of rough but I was NOT expecting my menses to show up and wear me down. Six weeks I have had this and seems like I will have it for another eight to nine. No one cares how much this is humiliating me. To have to wear female underwear and female products for this long is just draining the life out of me.
A good friend gave me a good tip. When I can take my sister’s car, I am going to go to Stop and Shop and buy all the asparagus they have and buy a bottle of Alleve. Hopefully something will work.
midnightdemons7 