Ramblings 69

I was so exhausted yesterday I didn’t write a blog. I was tired and tearful. Little things would make me cry and then I couldn’t stop. Very unusual for me.

I had a rough day today. My mother woke me up at around 0730 because the microwave was broken and she accused me of breaking it. We got into an argument so I couldn’t settle down and go to sleep. After 0830, I called the company to find out what “F3” meant and got no where. So I had to go on the website to find out the keypad was toast. F3 meant it shorted out. It probably happened the other day when the power went out and then something happened this morning to finally make it bust. So when I called my mother and explain she was all upset. Sorry, we need a new microwave.

After the finagling of phone calls and computer work, I took shaved and took a shower. Got dressed and went to the bus stop wicked early. About ten minutes while waiting my phone rings and it was a private number. Thinking it was my father, I picked up. It was my pdoc saying she had to cancel due to an emergency and could I reschedule for Monday. Fine. I left the bus stop, went home and had a cup of coffee.

After the coffee, I was trying to take a nap. HAHA yea right. My sister called and told me my father is not doing well and could I go over his house to bring him some Ensure as he hasn’t been eating. I then asked what to do with my niece as I was supposed to pick her up later in the afternoon. I called her sister and she was able to pick her up so I could see my father. He looked awful. He needs fluids but doesn’t want to go to the hospital because it is Friday. UGH!!!! So he rather stay feeling horrible than be treated. His choice. I can’t change his mind. But I do make sure he drinks an Ensure before I leave. At least he has some nutrition in him for the day.

I come home and I am starving. I had eggs this morning but no lunch and now it’s getting close to dinner time. Microwaving something is out so I get a half pizza for myself and mother as a whole one would be too much.

I get home, eat and check on my “kids”. My youngest niece is sleeping and the older one made cupcakes. On a hot day! My leg is now killing me from walking around the world today. It was really bad last night and almost had a PTSD panic attack. But I took some Ativan and went to sleep. This leg pain is really bringing me down. I know it’s just whatever is wrong with my leg/foot/ankle but when it acts up, I get freaked out thinking I am getting CES again because I can’t move my toes. I can’t move my toes because of pain and swelling. I am resting now so hopefully I don’t have to go down the stairs again tonight. I really just want to chill on my bed and read a book or something. The less I stay on my feet the better.

My stats for everything, book sales, blog, and Kindle all suck right now. No one is buying my book. No one is reading my blog. I got 10 people yesterday, today was 9. I am so depressed. I usually get at least 20 hits per day and I just am not getting it anymore. I know I haven’t been writing as much and my writing is not as dark. I should be happy with the few people that actually read my blog and I am. I just want to get to 25K before the end of the month and that is not going to happen if my numbers don’t start improving.

So that has been my day. And I still have not had a nap. My Sox aren’t on until after 2200. I hate west coast games. The Sox are playing the number one team in the AL right now. We lost last night. Probably going to lose again tonight but we’ll see.