Feeling irritable
Not having a good day, at all. I woke up at 0430, after falling asleep around midnight and then had a hell of a time trying to go back to sleep. I was pissed off. Then I woke up around 0830 with my ankle going berserk. I called it quits and took some pain meds that finally allowed me a few hours of sleep. When I did get up around 1130, the gas man turned off the gas so I couldn’t make anything to eat or make coffee. I am really upset that I couldn’t make coffee more than making something to eat. So now I think I will go out to Starbucks so I can have my fix, even though I really don’t want to go out. It’s really damp, windy, raw and cold out, not really good for my ankle. I just wanted a nice day at home where I make the food that I bought and drink coffee. Nope, I am denied. All because they are doing work in my area. Damn condos. I ordered a burger and now I am not so grumpy, but I still want coffee. The food that I prepared for my lunch will have to be my dinner now.
I emailed my psychiatrist late last night about my anxiety around next week, just so she knows. I started writing about what I was going through, with the memories of the phone call and then the surgeries and how I faired afterwards. Aside from getting a UTI (urinary tract infection), I did okay. Though mentally I was more scared than I was physically. It was good that the CES was caught in time and I was operated on so urgently, even though it was twice I had to be cut open. I then had CSF leaks both times so I had to lie still for 24 hours. That was not fun. And it wasn’t fun when the idiot resident came to me and told me after my second surgery that he wanted to take my urinary catheter out. I asked him how I was going to pee if I had to stay still for the next 20 hours or so? He didn’t take it out. This jerk also wanted to send me home without any PT in the hospital. I couldn’t get around on my own inpatient, how was I supposed to at home? Then the stupid stuck up nurse that I had was yelling at me, asking why I didn’t want to go home. Maybe because if I fell, there would be no one to pick me up? Maybe I had two flights of stairs at my house and I couldn’t walk up one step? My leg was still weak, I couldn’t put any weight on it and without a walker, I couldn’t stand on my own. It really pissed me off and the only doctor that was understanding was my surgeon. Then I got the UTI and the antibiotics they put me on really did a number on my bowels. If you ever want to clear your system out, go on Leviquin. All I did was shit and shit and shit. For two straight days. Then they sent me home and I was tired of fighting them anyway. So I spent another two days shitting my brains out and became weak. Guess what? I had to go back to the hospital ER for fluids. If the idiots had kept me, they could have avoided this. I still had stitches in my back, I couldn’t feel my left leg, I couldn’t walk unassisted and was sent back to the ER all because the resident wanted me to go home. No wonder I have a hard time trusting doctors. They can be really stupid sometimes.
I have to watch my niece in like an hour. I really don’t feel up to it. I just want to stay in my bed. Foot is acting up so I don’t think I will be going out. I hate this. It just started to rain so that clinches it. I am not going out. I will have to wait till the workmen finish their work so I can make a damn cup of coffee.
Sox are in Cleveland tonight. They have three games left and they are done. I am very sad at this. I knew they weren’t going to the post season, it would have been a miracle if they did, but it just didn’t work out. They lost last night and sent the fucking Skankees to the post season. Hate the Skanks. I hope they lose, and they will. I think the Jays have a chance at winning it all.
Tomorrow will be college football. I can’t wait. OSU is playing Illinois, a school that I had my eyes on for grad school. They have a beautiful campus. I visited twice when I went to Chicago. Those dreams are long gone and I will be rooting for the Buckeyes. It’s going to be a tough game because Illi is also 4-0. OSU is still undefeated from last season. They just keep on winning games. And I hope my having their hat doesn’t jinx them. I will be so sad.
midnightdemons7 