Saturday Blog 35

Saturday Blog 35

Blake Shelton came out with his number one hits collection. Rather than buy it, I just thought I would make a playlist. Turns out I have all of the songs except two. So Monday when I get paid, I will get them. I figure I have the songs anyway, why buy the same ones? I am surprised that “Don’t make me” wasn’t a number one hit.

I finally made the bibliography list for the pile of research articles I have. I have them in alphabetical order. The hardest part was creating the actual reference in EndNote. Some of the authors that were the same weren’t recognized so were created as new. It annoyed me. Took me a couple of hours to put together but it’s done. Now I have three more folders to do.

A Twitter friend said that she read two books today. That made me feel bad because I haven’t been reading “Order of the Phoenix” at all the past few days. I read a couple of chapters today, so I will call that a success. I hope to finish or be close to finishing the book tonight. The writing is powerful and gives me anxiety so I have to take breaks from it. Next book I am reading is on the Lusitania. It’s a fairly mid-sized book so it’s going to take me a while to read it. I know I have all this time in the world to read, but I just don’t have the concentration ability to actually do it. Today I am kind of forcing myself to read as I listen to Blake Shelton, when I really want to watch the Nebraska game and just zone out. But watching TV makes me sleepy afterwards and I want to save my energy for the OSU game at 2000. I found out today that baseball won’t resume until Tuesday. If there is a game 7, it will be in November! I don’t know how the MLB can draw out the post season like this. I don’t ever recall post season games going past Halloween. They are usually done by then. I guess the one day play off games really messed with the schedule.

I’m still feeling really depressed. I am tempted to email my pdoc to tell her I am sinking. Then I think, what good will that do? She can’t do nothing about my mood. There is no magic pill she can give me to stop the psychological pain that I am feeling. I am thinking about restarting Zoloft but I am not sure I can with the fricken nausea it gives me. I might be fine for a month or two, but then I always get the dry heaves and sometimes I vomit. Not good. And it always happens when the medication peaks so I didn’t always put two and two together. Before I did, I seriously thought there was something wrong with my stomach acid pill or my stomach. Then when I stopped the Zoloft, everything went back to normal. I wasn’t nauseous anymore. Other than telling her maybe a low dose of Zoloft might help, I don’t think she will be helpful for me. I have to email her next week to let her know how my appointment with my therapist goes. Maybe then I will ask about the Zoloft. Even if it’s a placebo effect I am looking for, so be it. It’s better than being without an antidepressant.