Dark Hot Chocolate and Other Things
I had bought dark hot chocolate mix and tried it out today. Because I was using more than 8 OZ of milk, I decided to use two packs of mix. HUGE mistake. It was so rich and creamy that could barely taste the chocolate. Note for next time: just use one package!
I slept fairly well. I had a rough start. After my last blog, I fell asleep only to wake up two hours later. I was rearing to go and couldn’t settle down again. I think around 0300 I finally went back to sleep. I slept around five straight hours and felt good. I made some breakfast, which was just biscuits. I was planning on making them with a burger but didn’t. Now after the hot chocolate, I don’t want anymore food.
I need to fill my meds for the week. I dread doing it. It doesn’t really take that long but it’s just that I hate doing it. I should get a month pill pack so I don’t have to worry about it but my fear is that I won’t know when it’s time to refill my meds until I go to fill the boxes again.
A friend of mine from BPD chat had a poll about whether knowing your diagnosis helped you or not. I found out that I was bipolar II last year. All this time before then, I thought I just had recurrent major depression. I can’t say that I am surprised at being Bipolar, but it was kind of a shock to see it in black and white. I don’t get the hypos frequently enough so I was thinking I just had major depression. According to the criteria, just one hypo episode slaps you with bipolar II. Knowing that I have bipolar has been a little easier to accept what my condition is and to live a little better with it. But the depressions are brutal. There is no denying that.
I still am having back and thigh pain. I haven’t made a decision about what to do about it. I could be in the early stages and that is when you want to catch CES. You catch it while it’s doing damage and the outcome is not as favorable. I really don’t want to be facing surgery. And I don’t know, with my insurance, if I will get a board certified surgeon or not. The whole thing is making me very nervous. Question is, should I wait till I see my doc the following Wednesday or call tomorrow to see him?