Saturday Blog 38

Saturday Blog 38

I got babysitting duties today. It will be this evening so I am trying to write earlier than I usually write. I am in pain. I somehow fell asleep while lying on my back and that is never a good thing. I can only sleep on back if I have my legs on the trapezoid foam leg rest that helps relieve the pressure on my lower back. So I made my back pain worse.

I woke up early so after breakfast, I read some more of my Lincoln book. I finished the chapter and tonight I will read some more. There will be nothing else that I do while babysitting. My niece usually does her thing and I do mine. She usually watches some YouTube shows.

I set up a lunch date with my sisters for us to go out to eat for my birthday. It will be the weekend before as I know during the week it will be impossible. My sister wanted to do it on my birthday but she doesn’t get home till around 6 so by the time we get there will be at least 7 and I really don’t want to be eating that late. Plus my mother would have a fit as she likes to have the cake on the birthday rather than on another day.

My hair is growing out and I will need another cut. I plan on getting it after Christmas. Just hope my barbers are working. They do a good job. I was going to go out today but I made my coffee so I am in the house most of the weekend. I am not planning on going out tomorrow as the buses don’t run to the Square and it’s a pain to get there with other routes. I will be going out Tuesday as I need to take my father to the doctors. That is going to be fun because his anxiety always gets me going and the more ornery he gets, the more annoyed I get. I then have therapy after his appointment so I plan on just staying at the hospital to talk to her. It’s going to be a long morning/afternoon.

I feel like having cherry Garcia ice cream so I may go to Walgreens and spend a fortune for a pint. I know I shouldn’t have ice cream as I am trying to watch my weight but the damn Neurontin has my appetite crazy today. All I want to do is eat. If I gain a few pounds this week, I really don’t care. I am technically doing what the doctor told me to do, take the medication as prescribed. I take it at night because there is no way I am going to sleep all day if I take it in the morning. Why bother waking up if I take a sleeping pill to go back to sleep. Stupid. These doctors don’t really think of these things when they prescribe medicine.

I am trying to get out of my Eric Church addiction. I added Luke Bryan’s Kill the Lights album to his playlist. I still have to add playlists that I had on my phone before I wiped the MP3 player. It still is acting the same so resetting it didn’t help. I made a few playlists that I wrote down before wiping it but one playlist was like 300 songs so I didn’t write down that. That would have taken me a long time to do. But my just Taylor and MCC (Mary Chapin Carpenter) lists have been made. Those were the easy ones to make because I just added the albums to the playlists and I was done.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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