Luke Combs top songs
I wanted to get my favorite Luke Combs songs in my top 25 playlist so I created a playlist with just those songs I liked. Beautiful Crazy and One Number Away are already on there but the others aren’t, yet. My app keeps track on how many times I play a song (I have no idea how) but I think it is cool. I saw an episode of Bones where Angela found the favorite songs of a passed coworker and they played those songs at his funeral/wake. I can’t remember who died as it has been a while and I never completed my seasons collection, mostly because I ran out of money for it.
I’ve been having a pain filled day. Started when I woke up with someone hammering the fuck out of my ankle and foot. I took a BT med, even though I just took my extended release one a couple of hours ago. I couldn’t handle the pain as it was just intense. I laid in bed hoping I would go back to sleep but I was too irritated and my mother had the kitchen TV on which went through my head like nails on a chalkboard. I think I got a migraine too, as I was sensitive to light and sound. I took my migraine meds before the headache came. It was hot but not sweltering, yet. I made bacon and then wanted to make my lemon loaf, but after I cooked, my ankle felt worse and I knew if I pushed through, I would pay for it. I prepared the lemons anyway. I tried to do it while sitting but the kitchen table was too high for me to get enough leverage to squeeze the lemons. It took 6 lemons to make a cup of juice. I zested three and hope it is enough for the loaf and the lemon bars I want to make. I couldn’t sit anymore or stand to zest more than three. I put things away, washed what I used, cleaned up, and then went to my room. I was soaked with sweat and had to change my shirt. I turned the AC on and tried to relax but then my mother called saying she was making spaghetti for dinner. Good. But I wasn’t hungry. She called again when it was ready and I still didn’t have an appetite. Past two days I barely ate.
I finally moved my bowels today. After a week of not being able to go. I still plan on taking some Miralax tomorrow to make sure I go. I can’t get backed up again. It hurts too much. I had taken a bunch of fiber pills and usually they work within a few hours but I was so backed up, it wasn’t working. I also didn’t want colon blow as my ankle was bothering me. I hope it is better tomorrow. If I can time it right, I might be able to make the loaf in the morning before it gets 90 degrees or more in the kitchen. I’ve been wanting to make this lemon loaf for so damn long but the house has been too hot to bake. I wish I didn’t sleep all day yesterday but I am glad I did as I’ve been so worn down with pain and not sleeping. This week I have back to back to back appointments the end of the week. I hope to be able to do something the next few days. I wish my mother would put in an AC but she doesn’t like the cold air. She had the ceiling fan on and made me shut it off because she felt cold. I don’t get it. I really don’t. I need it to be cold or I just melt. Wish I lost weight in the process but that is a different story.
One the followers I follow on Twitter asked if anyone was interested in writing a book. I responded that I had two book out on depression and suicide. No response. Another follower response and a publishing company contacts her. I was heated. Like what am I, nothing? I wouldn’t mind another publisher to get out there. It is a self-publishing thing so I have to do the promoting myself. Hence why I have done shit since 2016 when I published Darkness Always Wins. I have just sold like 3 copies on the website and maybe 12 via signed copies. A few I gave away to friends so they could read what I wrote and give feedback (which I never got). One friend said I had a bunch of typos and offered to fix the document but never got back to me. I use word so I don’t know what typos she was talking about. I don’t use the grammar function as I talk like I speak and if Microsoft doesn’t like it, too bad. I miss writing other than my blog. I wish I could go back to my story that is in my head but I feel so suicidal that I don’t think it is worth it. I just feel that even if I write it, I doubt I would want to share it with the world. Hell, just writing one page was emotional for me and I couldn’t go on. That was back in February. Haven’t touched it since. I might have added somethings to the outline I am using but that is all. I don’t think I touched that since maybe March. That was when I gave up hope and writing and pretty much was set on killing myself sometime this year. Time is still moving and I am still here. I am not liking it, at all. So I just word vomit on my blogs and call it a day.
It’s the idea that you have to be open hearted to walk through life. You have to look for light. You have to know that those things that are going to keep you going, even if you feel unloved or broken hearted you have to keep your heart open & that’s the way to go forward. Mary Chapin Carpenter
I have been following Mary Chapin Carpenter since I was introduced to country music back in 1992. Her album that came out that year was Come On, Come On and it is one of my favorites. I found that she had other older albums but I just got the songs that were popular as I didn’t want to buy the tape (yes, cassette tape) just for that song. I have owned nearly every album since Come On, Come On. Mary Chapin just release a new album on March 30th. It has 1 new song and 12 songs previously recorded. However, one song was bugging me as I don’t remember hearing it, ever. I planned on doing some searching but today it came to light when she posted a link to an interview she did with the Inquirer. The song, Superman, was originally recorded for her album Time*Sex*Love but didn’t make the record. Mystery solved. As I continued reading the article, I found the quote above. Mary Chapin is a deep person as she is beautiful. She just turned 60 but she doesn’t look her age. I just love when I find these gems about her because she is not very keen on social media. She posts just stuff relating to her album or collaborations she is doing with other artists, usually female. She is the only artist where I saw in consecutive years when she came to Boston at what was then, the Fleet Pavilion. I have no idea what it is called now. Then she dropped off the face of the earth, which I later found out she suffered an embolism and was very depressed. Her album Age of Miracles talks about the depression a little bit. Some of those songs really touched me.
I spent the morning sleeping as I woke up in the afternoon. I woke up a few times but was quickly back to sleep. I think I only woke up because of my med alarm and my sister calling me. Then I pulled I will get up in five minutes around noon and fell back to sleep for an hour with my bladder saying if you don’t get up now, you will regret it. I got up. I wasn’t really hungry but figure I should eat so heated up a burrito. The game was on so I turned on the TV. They were down 2-0 at the top of the first but that quickly changed in the bottom of the 1st as they scored four runs. Then another inning the bases were loaded and Xander Bogaerts was up. He hit a grand salami, the first since 2016. The Sox was the only team last year not to record one grand slam all season. It was all that every fricken announcer talked about. In fact most times last season, they left the bases loaded. It was pathetic. So it was really good that X hit a home run. I was so fricken happy. He really has become a good hitter. I watched the rest of the game and the newest hitter, JD Martinez hit a 2 run shot. Then Devers hit his own home run. The Sox won 10-3. It was an awesome win!
It’s 0315 and I got Eric Church music on my Brain
I woke up forty-five minutes ago. I decided to write a blog because it helps me sleep. Now I have Eric Church’s music running in my brain. No matter what, I can’t seem to turn his music off. I have been listening to his album, Mr. Misunderstood, for weeks now. I thought I could listen to something else, like Taylor Swift or Luke Bryan, but I always seem to come back to Church. I don’t know why I am so addicted to his music. Maybe because I can relate to at least three of his songs and the others I just like hearing the beat. His 3 year old song is very cute and my MP3 player seems to like it because it plays it more than the others.
The reason I am up is because of pain. I woke up to my ankle hurting me. I started reading Twitter and there was nothing good to read. Nothing was on Facebook either, though I answered someone’s reply on my support group. There is usually nothing going on during these hours. All I can do is take my pain meds and hope I go back to sleep. I have nothing else to distract me from the pain. I might try reading my book but it’s hard to concentrate when you are in pain. The pain has lessened somewhat so I hope that means I am sleep bound soon.
I had an app on my phone that was for my online grocery ordering. It’s no longer supported so I had to uninstall it. I like it because it beat having to go on my laptop when I thought of something to buy. I am not buying as much as I did last month. I am trying to keep it under $100. But it’s difficult because Stop and Shop is expensive. If they didn’t have my flavor of Powerade, I wouldn’t shop there. I would certainly be screwed though. You would think Lemon-lime would be in stock in most of the stores like Walgreens and Rite-Aid but they don’t have it. I can only get it at Stop and Shop. It saves me time when I order and then I don’t have to lug the stuff up the stairs. The delivery guy does it. I just have to put the things away.
Found out the place that I want to order my Chinese food for Christmas Eve is online. I don’t have to call to place the order. I am so glad because I hate calling on the phone. I still need to get their menu. I was going to get it today but they weren’t open. I will get it next week when I see my neurosurgeon. I like ordering combination plates because it is cheaper than buying things individually. But I didn’t see dinner combos, just lunch and there was no indication that it was served all day.
If it wasn’t so early in the morning, I think I would make coffee. I haven’t had it all week. When I do get up later this morning, I am going to make my Brazil coffee. I want still need to buy another bag of it while it’s still in stock. I can’t let this pass. I also need to see if the liquor store in the Square sells a particular stout I am looking for. It’s a Mexican chocolate stout and is supposed to be really good. I am not really a stout person but I find I like them better than a beer because it doesn’t taste like beer. It’s heavier and richer but I think with the chocolate and other flavors, it won’t be hoppy. It’s very rare that I will drink beer as I am more for hard liquor. When I drink, I want to get drunk, and fast. Plus this stout is like 8.1% alcohol. I hope they have it. It will make me happy.
Saturday Blog 38
I got babysitting duties today. It will be this evening so I am trying to write earlier than I usually write. I am in pain. I somehow fell asleep while lying on my back and that is never a good thing. I can only sleep on back if I have my legs on the trapezoid foam leg rest that helps relieve the pressure on my lower back. So I made my back pain worse.
I woke up early so after breakfast, I read some more of my Lincoln book. I finished the chapter and tonight I will read some more. There will be nothing else that I do while babysitting. My niece usually does her thing and I do mine. She usually watches some YouTube shows.
I set up a lunch date with my sisters for us to go out to eat for my birthday. It will be the weekend before as I know during the week it will be impossible. My sister wanted to do it on my birthday but she doesn’t get home till around 6 so by the time we get there will be at least 7 and I really don’t want to be eating that late. Plus my mother would have a fit as she likes to have the cake on the birthday rather than on another day.
My hair is growing out and I will need another cut. I plan on getting it after Christmas. Just hope my barbers are working. They do a good job. I was going to go out today but I made my coffee so I am in the house most of the weekend. I am not planning on going out tomorrow as the buses don’t run to the Square and it’s a pain to get there with other routes. I will be going out Tuesday as I need to take my father to the doctors. That is going to be fun because his anxiety always gets me going and the more ornery he gets, the more annoyed I get. I then have therapy after his appointment so I plan on just staying at the hospital to talk to her. It’s going to be a long morning/afternoon.
I feel like having cherry Garcia ice cream so I may go to Walgreens and spend a fortune for a pint. I know I shouldn’t have ice cream as I am trying to watch my weight but the damn Neurontin has my appetite crazy today. All I want to do is eat. If I gain a few pounds this week, I really don’t care. I am technically doing what the doctor told me to do, take the medication as prescribed. I take it at night because there is no way I am going to sleep all day if I take it in the morning. Why bother waking up if I take a sleeping pill to go back to sleep. Stupid. These doctors don’t really think of these things when they prescribe medicine.
I am trying to get out of my Eric Church addiction. I added Luke Bryan’s Kill the Lights album to his playlist. I still have to add playlists that I had on my phone before I wiped the MP3 player. It still is acting the same so resetting it didn’t help. I made a few playlists that I wrote down before wiping it but one playlist was like 300 songs so I didn’t write down that. That would have taken me a long time to do. But my just Taylor and MCC (Mary Chapin Carpenter) lists have been made. Those were the easy ones to make because I just added the albums to the playlists and I was done.