Luke Combs top songs
I wanted to get my favorite Luke Combs songs in my top 25 playlist so I created a playlist with just those songs I liked. Beautiful Crazy and One Number Away are already on there but the others aren’t, yet. My app keeps track on how many times I play a song (I have no idea how) but I think it is cool. I saw an episode of Bones where Angela found the favorite songs of a passed coworker and they played those songs at his funeral/wake. I can’t remember who died as it has been a while and I never completed my seasons collection, mostly because I ran out of money for it.
I’ve been having a pain filled day. Started when I woke up with someone hammering the fuck out of my ankle and foot. I took a BT med, even though I just took my extended release one a couple of hours ago. I couldn’t handle the pain as it was just intense. I laid in bed hoping I would go back to sleep but I was too irritated and my mother had the kitchen TV on which went through my head like nails on a chalkboard. I think I got a migraine too, as I was sensitive to light and sound. I took my migraine meds before the headache came. It was hot but not sweltering, yet. I made bacon and then wanted to make my lemon loaf, but after I cooked, my ankle felt worse and I knew if I pushed through, I would pay for it. I prepared the lemons anyway. I tried to do it while sitting but the kitchen table was too high for me to get enough leverage to squeeze the lemons. It took 6 lemons to make a cup of juice. I zested three and hope it is enough for the loaf and the lemon bars I want to make. I couldn’t sit anymore or stand to zest more than three. I put things away, washed what I used, cleaned up, and then went to my room. I was soaked with sweat and had to change my shirt. I turned the AC on and tried to relax but then my mother called saying she was making spaghetti for dinner. Good. But I wasn’t hungry. She called again when it was ready and I still didn’t have an appetite. Past two days I barely ate.
I finally moved my bowels today. After a week of not being able to go. I still plan on taking some Miralax tomorrow to make sure I go. I can’t get backed up again. It hurts too much. I had taken a bunch of fiber pills and usually they work within a few hours but I was so backed up, it wasn’t working. I also didn’t want colon blow as my ankle was bothering me. I hope it is better tomorrow. If I can time it right, I might be able to make the loaf in the morning before it gets 90 degrees or more in the kitchen. I’ve been wanting to make this lemon loaf for so damn long but the house has been too hot to bake. I wish I didn’t sleep all day yesterday but I am glad I did as I’ve been so worn down with pain and not sleeping. This week I have back to back to back appointments the end of the week. I hope to be able to do something the next few days. I wish my mother would put in an AC but she doesn’t like the cold air. She had the ceiling fan on and made me shut it off because she felt cold. I don’t get it. I really don’t. I need it to be cold or I just melt. Wish I lost weight in the process but that is a different story.
One the followers I follow on Twitter asked if anyone was interested in writing a book. I responded that I had two book out on depression and suicide. No response. Another follower response and a publishing company contacts her. I was heated. Like what am I, nothing? I wouldn’t mind another publisher to get out there. It is a self-publishing thing so I have to do the promoting myself. Hence why I have done shit since 2016 when I published Darkness Always Wins. I have just sold like 3 copies on the website and maybe 12 via signed copies. A few I gave away to friends so they could read what I wrote and give feedback (which I never got). One friend said I had a bunch of typos and offered to fix the document but never got back to me. I use word so I don’t know what typos she was talking about. I don’t use the grammar function as I talk like I speak and if Microsoft doesn’t like it, too bad. I miss writing other than my blog. I wish I could go back to my story that is in my head but I feel so suicidal that I don’t think it is worth it. I just feel that even if I write it, I doubt I would want to share it with the world. Hell, just writing one page was emotional for me and I couldn’t go on. That was back in February. Haven’t touched it since. I might have added somethings to the outline I am using but that is all. I don’t think I touched that since maybe March. That was when I gave up hope and writing and pretty much was set on killing myself sometime this year. Time is still moving and I am still here. I am not liking it, at all. So I just word vomit on my blogs and call it a day.