Christmas Eve 2015

Christmas Eve 2015

Traditionally, Italians celebrate Christmas on the Eve and then rest on Christmas Day. We have the seven fishes. I am not a fish person and I don’t celebrate. I am spending the Eve watching TV and had one margarita that was one too many. I also had Chinese food that was okay. I have had better. I am disappointed that I can’t get decent Chinese food in my area.

I had a day of running around, quite literally. I left my house early and did a few errands before going to my father’s house. I was tired by the time I got to his house. I had to pick up his meds and decided to buy PF Chang’s frozen dinner entrée so I wouldn’t have to order out. But after all was said and done, I was too tired to cook. I came home and my ankle/foot wanted a divorce from me. I was in a lot of pain and my foot was swollen. I took some pain meds, which is probably why the alcohol really got to me. I am a lightweight anyway, doesn’t take much to make me feel buzzed. I had like a quarter of a glass of the Margarita stuff. It’s only 1900 and I am ready for bed already.

I am so tired of being in pain. I wanted to get gift cards for my family as presents for tomorrow but I was too wiped out and in pain to go to Walgreens. I thought I would later when and if my foot/ankle settled down. I should have gone before having the alcohol. OOPS. So it will be another year where I don’t get anything for my family. If I can, tomorrow I will at least get a money card for my father. If I don’t give him anything, he will be pissed. Got to satisfy the narcissistic ego. I should have bought him a gift a card at the grocery store, now that I think of it. But I was already weary and just wanted to go home.

Pain takes so much out of me. I really can’t do anything for too long anymore. I can’t stand or walk without severe pain so that kind of hinders things. I wanted to dust my ceiling fan as the dust is accumulating. I think it’s been a year since I dusted it last. I just can’t stand long enough to do it.

The temps in Boston reached at least 70 today. Despite it being warm outside, the house felt cold. I still wore shorts and a T-shirt. My back is going to kill me come next week when the temp drops. We are supposedly having snow starting on Tuesday.

My mood kind of sucks. I feel like I should be sleeping and I think I will be going to bed soon. I hope my family doesn’t wake me up early tomorrow. I really just want to sleep in, if possible. I had a crappy sleep last night as I kept on waking up every fricken hour. I was afraid that I would sleep late and I wouldn’t do what I needed to do today. All is done and now I am going to read the creepy American Gods book and then sleep, I hope.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

4 thoughts on “Christmas Eve 2015”

  1. 7 fishes, not for me. I am not a big fan of fish. I love alcohol though, lol. I never get drunk. I have drank some wine and spritzers over christmas and have enjoyed them. XX

  2. Yes there are seven different kinds of fish. I don’t know what they all are but there is usually calamari, shrimp, bacala (salted haddock), scrod, etc.
    I didn’t know you were in these parts. That is interesting.

    Thank you for your present. I wish you the same my friend

  3. Italian? Seven fishes? I’d like to hear more about that. Are they seven different kinds of fish? When I lived in Boston Legal Seafoods was one storefront and nothing cooked, just a really good fish market. We lived on their frozen cod cakes pan fried with eggs.

    There used to be a joke that you could get scrod, scrod, scrod, or scrod.

    I used to work in a leather garment factory in the North End, pretty much behind the Old North Church. Geez, I haven’t been back to the City of Beans in years. I used to live in all the cheap places that are now ritzy: Inman Square, Central Square, Slummerville…seven years.

    If I could give you a present, it would be a good night’s sleep and a wake-up without pain.

any thoughts?

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