Sunday Blog 27-Dec-15

Sunday Blog 27-Dec-15

I had a busy day. My groceries came soon after I woke up from a weird dream. I put them all away and then had breakfast. My back has been sore most of the day because of the damn rain and the temp dropping more than 10 degrees. It’s not really painful just an ache that won’t go away.

I got mail. My DVDs that I ordered came in so tonight I will be watching It’s a Wonderful Life. I also got a letter from my neurosurgeon’s office telling me when my MRI is. It’s two weeks from now. I am not happy about this. I think I will call and see if I can be seen at another location. They have quite a few at the hospital I go to.

My prescription was ready to be picked up and I went because I wanted chips. I didn’t order them with my groceries. I usually don’t order junk food unless I am craving it or think of it. But today while watching the game, I wanted something to munch on. The game went sour so I decided to have a beer. Then the game really sucked. I threw away the beer and went upstairs to my room.

I haven’t had time today to read or write. I honestly don’t know where the six hours have gone to. My ankle is killing me, probably because I have been going up and down the stairs all day. My sister called me after the groceries were put away to tell me I had presents. There were two gifts that I didn’t open. I got a Sox umbrella and a nice comfy bathrobe. It will come in handy after showering. I really like this gift as I never had a bathrobe before, not a nice one anyway. I had a hospital one but that was it.

I can’t believe that in two weeks my therapist and I have been seeing each other for fifteen years. I also can’t believe it’s been fifteen years that I have had CES, cauda equina syndrome. I have had it twice in my life. The first time was fifteen years ago, second, nine years ago. The third is pending.

I checked the Powerball. No one won. I still have another chance to win, if I remember to play. My brother-in-law gave me some scratch tickets for my birthday. I won six bucks. I will cash it in and get a few quick picks for the Powerball and Mega Millions. That pot is over 117 million bucks. It would be sweet to win that. I used to play my own numbers but they never came out and I never got a number or two. So now I just do quick picks.

I am very tired. I am going to try and have an easy night. I hope I get to sleep at a decent hour. I still have to fill my pill box for the week. I also need to shower but will wait till my ankle calms down some. I don’t have any plans for the week as my therapist is on vacation. I just have to see my father Thursday. The rest of the week is up to me. I want to go to Starbucks tomorrow so I can write this paper about psychache. I have been thinking about it the last few days but nothing concrete has come of it. I have an opening quote from the book but I still don’t have a beginning sentence. I hope to have it done by the end of the week.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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