Saturday Blog 41

Saturday Blog 41

My day started out the same as yesterday. I woke up around 0500 and was in pain. I took some pain meds and had some breakfast. I then went back to sleep. I really wanted to have pizza for lunch but my mother didn’t want a birthday sub for lunch so I nixed it. I had biscuits and gravy instead.

I really need to take a shower as I am hot and sweaty despite it being cold in the house. I think I am getting the cold sweats from this stupid cold that I have. Maybe it’s a sign that it’s leaving me. When my mother came home, I went to cash in my birthday scratch tickets and bought my powerball tickets. It’s up to an estimated $900 million right now. It would be so sweet to get at least $100,000 of that. I’m not greedy, I just would like what I can live off of.

So far I have been doing good for my hydrating. I already had a bottle of water. I plan on moving on to a powerade next and some tea. It’s so hard remembering to drink fluids when you are not used to it. My lips are badly chapped. They always become so during the winter months. No matter how much I use lip balm, I can never get them moisturized enough. I must have tried several different kinds but they are all the same. Soon as it wears off, your lips are chapped again.

I went back to the “American Gods”. I really want to find out what happens to the main character of the book. I have less than 100 pages to read. I should finish it in a few days time and then I can cross it off my list of books read. I really want to try and read 20 books this year. It will be a challenge with my depression and all but I think I can do it.

My order from Amazon has been split up, again. I will be getting the book sometime today and then my pens on Monday. I hate when they split it up. They also charge separately as well. I don’t think I am going to order from them as much anymore. It’s getting to be expensive and I don’t need half the stuff I buy. I still haven’t received the Cognitive Therapy book I ordered. It won’t be coming at least until next week.

I should have made coffee this morning. It’s too late now for it. So I will make a cup of tea. I like drinking English Teatime by Bigelow. It’s one of my favorite teas. I find that if I drink several cups it has the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee.

I have been in a slump most of the day. I went out to get my lottery tickets and now I am just so tired, like I did something strenuous. I hate when I feel like crap after an activity. I just want to shower and take a nap. My ankle is starting to act up so there goes the shower I wanted to take. Think I will just take my pain meds and go to sleep. It’s the only thing I have been doing lately anyways. I have no motivation to do anything else.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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