Interesting Day

Interesting day

My sister and I went to the Italian Consulate in Boston today to notify them of my father’s death. We needed to have the papers we brought translated so we weren’t able to do much. Monday I got to go to the lady’s place to have it translated. I reserved the zipcar so I can get there and possibly go food shopping afterwards. The office was nice. It was on the 17th floor and had a beautiful view of the harbor. Too bad it wasn’t a nice day; the view would have been better.

After we went there, my sister and I got something to eat at the train depot where they had a food court. I was familiar with it because I have been there many times, but my sister wasn’t. I had to get a coffee and can’t believe I spent $4 on an iced coffee at their Starbucks kiosk. What a rip off. I won’t be getting my coffee there anymore. They had a McDonalds and I finally had my Big Mac that I have been craving. It was so good. I probably won’t eat anything else for the rest of the day but least I had some food.

On the ride home, the “movie” started to play again. It was because my sister brought up that my grandfather (father’s father) looked exactly liked him when he, my father, passed. My middle sister made a copy of the picture for me. I still remember the ambulance ride to my father’s apartment and what it was like. I feel so sad. Then I remember the stupid clock of his going off and telling him he was home. He died soon after.

This all happened 10 days ago yet it might as well have been yesterday. I just hope the memories fade as time goes on. I don’t want to relive this stuff every day. It’s too painful.

I need to take a shower today. I don’t know when I will but it will be sometime before bed. I don’t have to do anything else today. Tomorrow morning I am having coffee with a friend. Another friend called me to invite me to see my friends that are south of Boston. I am not sure if I am up to going, only because nerve pain has been so bad lately and these trips tend to take a lot of energy out of me. It will be good to see my friends again and my adopted niece and nephew. I’ll have to think about it.

My psychiatrist called me last evening to check in with me. I was in better spirits. I think I am becoming hypomanic as I feel really good, aside from the occasional sadness I feel. I told her I need a refill on my Zoloft, which she still has not called in yet. This is why I wanted to meet with her yesterday because it takes her a few days to call in a refill, especially with the new system. I hope she calls it in soon because I will run out come this weekend. I just emailed her again.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

any thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s