Diet and other things

Diet and other things

Last night, during the early morning hours, I was charging my headphones. Something that I meant to do while I was chatting with a friend of mine but completely forgot. I kept on waiting for the red light to turn blue but it never did. I had it plugged into the outlet and I figured maybe the USB port on my computer would be faster. It wasn’t. By this time I was hungry so I had one of my protein shakes. It filled me up and it was only 150 calories. I had another one 3-4 hours later when I woke up. I think I will be able to do this diet thing no problem. The only problem I foresee is getting 300 or so calories at the end of the day.

I got an app that counts calories. I like this because it actually lists the products that I am using. I plan on having some boiled eggs later. My ankle is killing me so I won’t venture downstairs right now. Besides my mother is still home and the TV is too loud for my preference right now. I like it when it is quiet. I also need coffee as the Neurontin left me a nice hangover. Man, do I have a fog.

Only place I plan on going today is to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. I hope my ankle is feeling better by then. All I did was use the bathroom. Damn stupid ankle. I took some pain meds and I am waiting for them to work.

I talked to my friend who I got the diet idea from. He said the hardest part was getting the calories needed during the day. He said he ate sugar free pudding and applesauce. I bought some but not the sugar free kind. I don’t like the after taste of sugar free stuff. I know “sugar” is bad but if I don’t have some carbs, I fear I will lose my mind. I bought some pudding and applesauce as well as yogurt. I am really going to try and see if this diet will work for me. The hard part is trying to get out of bed to get the stuff I need in my body on days that I just want to stay in bed, either because of pain or my moods. Not having any concrete plans is another downer.

Crap, I forgot that I have a dinner date with my friends at Olive Garden next week. I guess that will be my cheat day. Maybe I can get a big mac before I am supposed to leave Boston to really make it a cheat day. I am thinking I should wait until the new year to start my diet as that will be the logical thing to do. But I really want to see if I can do it for more than a week and see how much weight I will lose once I get started. Even if it’s a few pounds I will be happy. I do hate the caloric counting thing. I have never been one to count calories or care about calories. I just eat what I want and the hell with it. I know my meds work against me and it will be a challenge with the Neurontin making me hungry all the time. I just know that I need to lower my weight if I want to get off my blood pressure pills. That is my goal. This isn’t a permanent diet solution. I know I need to watch my weight always to keep myself from gaining the weight back. My friend has lost 16 pounds so far in 16 days. If I lose that much, I will be so happy.

My biggest reason for doing this is because I am not active like I should be. If I was able to walk, even to the Square and back, that would be 2 miles a day and it would be great to do so. But I am lucky to make it to the pharmacy and back without any problems. And that is only a block and a half away from me. I can’t pick up my niece at school anymore because there are too many hills for me to walk and it hurts me afterwards. In my younger, healthier days, it didn’t bother me. But now that I have health problems, it’s a huge deal. I can’t walk up the hill on my street like I used to. And I used to be able to do it without a sweat. Now the only time I climb the hill is to see my dentist. Some days I do okay and others it’s like climbing Mount Everest, which reminds me, I got to call to get my tooth fixed. I hate calling. I avoid using the phone at all costs. I rather text or email. It’s easier for me. Maybe I will call in the afternoon when I am not so drugged up by my pain meds.

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About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Diet and other things

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    I hope you reach your goals! Losing weight is so fucking hard. Why does it have to be so hard? if only we knew the answer to it. xxx

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