Weird day

I was up all night because of pain. I caught a two hour nap and then woke up at 5. I made breakfast as I was hungry, took a shit load of meds, and went back to sleep. Before I did, I emailed my psych saying I wasn’t going to the hosp today. I might go in the afternoon but the morning was out. 

I had a weird dream, one I don’t care to remember because it was so bizarre. I got up and was hungry. It was around 3 pm.my mother wasn’t making anything special so I decided to order a burrito. It was good. They again didn’t give me sour cream or guacamole in it. It was fine.

I went up to my room and it was a sauna. My mother had turned up the heat. I was so hot I took my shirt off and took a nap.I shouldn’t have done that but I was tired. I woke up just in time for my night meds.

I counted each one out as I didn’t have them in my box. Tonight will be the last time doing so. I’m not going to the hospital so I can put my meds in the box tomorrow. I’ll take my chances with my flare ups. I don’t care.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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