having a hard time with pain and sleep

Having a hard time with pain and sleep

I slept barely two hours and when I woke up, I was in pain. It was severe enough that I had to take another strong pain pill. Because I went to bed so late, I have decided not to go to the hospital today. I am medicating myself until I sleep for hours on end. I don’t know if I will be successful but I can at least try.

I made breakfast. We are almost out of orange juice so I had apple juice. I was kind of pissed off because I really wanted OJ. My mother bought milk but didn’t buy juice. Figures. I will get some later this afternoon when I go to Walgreens to pick up my wrong prescription. My neurologist called in a refill for the Neurontin but didn’t give me the strength I requested. She just refilled the script that was there. I am so angry because I specifically told her what I wanted in the email. Pisses me off when they can’t fucking read. Now I got a bottle of pills that I need to take multiple quantities of to achieve the dose I need. Just lovely.

I had a sore on my lower lip that was kind of small. Now it seems to have gotten bigger overnight and I just want to slice it open to let the shit out. I’ve been putting Blistex on it but it doesn’t seem to be helping any. It hurts but only if I accidentally hit it while eating. Having breakfast this morning was a challenge. Every bite hurt.

I’m getting sleepy now so I will write more later. I am still waiting for my psych to answer my emails.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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