chronic pain and being lazy

Chronic pain and being lazy

I woke up at 7 in pain. I took my meds and within an hour, it toned down. I took the opportunity to take a much needed shower. I then made breakfast after I finished getting dressed. While I was making my coffee, I started to feel dizzy, but not the dizziness I have experienced in the past. I drank my coffee and it put me to sleep so I took a nap for a couple of hours. I woke up to my med app telling me it was time to take my meds so I turned over and took them. The dizziness was gone and so was my energy levels. I was completely wiped out.

I had to pack my suitcase for tomorrow’s admission. I was hoping to find a journal that is missing that was in my bag that I had my blanket in but it wasn’t there. I have no idea where this journal went. It’s really bugging me. Anyway, I finished packing and then noticed I forgot to pack my slippers. I’ll stuff them in later. The blanket took up most of the room in my suitcase as it’s just a carryon type. I was able to fit my clothes and stuff so that was good. Now I just need to fit my slippers and I will be all set. I still need to make my backpack “hospital safe”, which means I got to take out anything that could potentially be considered a sharp or a hazard. It’s a pain in the ass. It shouldn’t take me too long as I think the only thing that is compromised is my bottle of aspirin for my headaches. Everything else should be okay. I still need to pack some Powerade bottles and water. I’ll see if I can stuff them in the suitcase as the backpack will just hurt my back.

I plan on leaving early tomorrow morning before people are up. If I get there early, I hopefully won’t be waiting too long. Though last time I still had to wait like 15 hours before I was transferred. It was a long day. I hope tomorrow isn’t too long and I don’t get a moron doc that thinks I don’t need to be in the hospital because I came in before I did something. Some medical doctors are so judgmental.

I had emailed my neurologist to refill my Neurontin. I specifically told her I wanted 600 mg tabs twice a day. What does she do? She refilled my previous prescription so I got 300 mg caps three times a day. WTF. I am so mad. They better not try to give me 300 mg three times a day in the hospital. I don’t take it that way. Last night, I carefully wrote out how I take my meds. Hopefully the hospital staff listens to me rather than what is actually ordered. Otherwise I will be a fucking zombie while in the hospital. Just got an email saying my prescription is ready. Wonder if I should pick it up or just wait till I am home from the hospital. I’ll wait. I don’t feel like going out. I really just want to go back to sleep.

I haven’t had lunch or dinner. I might have the last piece of pumpkin cake as both. I don’t know what my mother is planning on making for dinner. Probably the bean soup she made yesterday. I don’t want that. I wish I had deep dish pizza but I think the last box is in the basement freezer. I’m not that desperate to get it as that means going outside. I have no idea if there will be snow near the entrance or not. I don’t want to find out. I’ll probably have the cake and then if I get hungry later, I’ll make some toast or something. I got to remember to pack some protein bars with me so I don’t have to buy food while I wait. They serve you lunch but you got to ask for it and last time I didn’t get dinner so I was really hungry when I got to the psych hospital. I’ll get breakfast at Starbucks so I will have something in my stomach. I will need my espresso so I stay up.

I really want to sleep but I need to finish my tasks so I am just ready to go in the morning. I hate feeling lazy and sleepy. I had emailed my psych last night in a fit of despair. Pain was driving me nuts and I had to take the strong pain pill to quiet things down. Even then it took a while for it to work. I haven’t heard back from my psych.

4 thoughts on “chronic pain and being lazy

  1. My dear friend I do not think you are lazy I think when you have chronic pain nobody knows how exhausting it can be and getting through a day is hard enough. Don’t beat yourself up by saying you are lazy I know you try really hard but some days you can only do what you can do and that’s okay xo (big hug)

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