another day of chronicity

Another day of Chronicity

I had to pick up my prescription, even though it was ordered wrong, I decided to get it. I also needed some other things at Walgreens and so did my mother. I should have taken the rolling bag that I usually use but I used a handbag instead. Huge mistake. By the time I got to the end of the block, my back was aching me. The stuff I had was not heavy. I mean how heavy could 4 boxes of tissues and a thing of juice really be? Plus I had to be careful of my steps because there were parts that weren’t shoveled. I ended up walking in the street most of the way home, being mindful to look up every so often so I didn’t get hit by a car. I had only worn a heavy sweatshirt and I was sweating big time by the time I came home. I had to change my shirt as it was wet. My back was killing me and I couldn’t wait to rest on my bed.

I think I got a cold sore on my lip and it hurts. I have tried several different lip balms but it won’t go away. Guess I am going to have to wait it out. My foot is thanking me kindly for going to Walgreens. I wasn’t going to go but I am almost out of Neurontin so I needed to get my prescription. I wanted to email my neuro and tell her she called it in wrong but I didn’t. I’ll just take lump sums of the 300 mg capsules when I need them rather than taking less pills with the 600 mg tabs. I really am disgusted that my neuro didn’t read my email to change the script.

I had to deal with a troll on Twitter today. I had sent an article about the EFFECT of crisis response plans vs safety contracts. NO where in the article did it say the effectiveness or effective nature of safety contracts. So this bozo, who I have dealt with before, says “should ‘effective’ and safety contract be used in the same sentence”? That wasn’t the scope of the article!! Then I pointed that out to him, after he caused memes and gifs, and other conversations. No response, as usual. I did get a like for pointing out the difference. But everyone else ignored me. Figures. I am having a friend get the article for me as I am not paying $35 for the article. He goes to psych grad school so can get it easily. I need it for my library.

I got an email from my psychiatrist. It was about a group dealing with chronic pain and she was wondering if I was interested in joining. I just sent an email to the interested party and I hope I get a response. I also left a message with a potential new therapist that my friend gave me. I was kind of nervous so it was terrible. I hate leaving messages. I haven’t received a call back yet. I hope I do. I might send her another email as she didn’t respond to the first one. I am really missing having someone to talk to every week. I like talking to my psych every week but we don’t focus on things and it’s not really therapy.

When I see my psych this Friday, I am going to ask her to see if going up on the Zoloft would help me. I have been in a low mood and wonder if increasing the med might help me feel better and not be so destructive when I have a flare up. I hate increasing it but if it will help, I will be for it. It’s been months since my last increase. I just hope I don’t get side effects of an increased dose. That wouldn’t be good. I know my psych is worried about me because I have been seeing her every week since January. Usually I see her every 2-3 weeks. But with the whole no therapy, she has been my sole support. I miss my therapist. I hope the therapist I called today has openings or I will be really sad.

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About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to another day of chronicity

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    fucking trolls. fuck him. what an ass. I hope the new therapist has openings. keeping everything crossed for you. xx

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