Painful Monday

Painful Monday

I’m not having a good day. I woke up at 2 in pain. Tried to go back to sleep but I got hungry so around 3 I made some oatmeal. I fiddled with my laptop till around 5 or so and finally went back to sleep. My foot was hurting when I woke up a few hours later. I couldn’t win. It really depressed me. I had emailed a response to my psychiatrist around 4 in the morning. I am still waiting to hear back from her. She might not be checking her email.

I stayed in bed most of the day except when I had to use the bathroom. I finally moved my bowels and felt like I hit the lottery. I felt better, least around my stomach. I finally gave up on trying to see if the pain was going to settle down and took a strong pain pill. And that was it. I was toast the rest of the afternoon. My pillow and I snoozed until my mother called me sometime between 3 and 4 pm to tell me what she was making for dinner. I just yes her to death to get off the phone. I was in a good dream and wanted to know how it turned out. I never went back to it and I don’t remember what it was about now.

My prescriptions are ready to be picked up. I will do that tomorrow. My foot is still sore to go out. I probably could wing it but I don’t want to. The thought of getting dressed isn’t appealing to me. I have no idea what happened to my gray PJs that could pass as sweatpants. I thought I had packed them in my hospital bag but they weren’t in there. They are hiding somewhere in my room. I hate when clothes hide on me.

Because I have been so tired, I haven’t had much time to feel suicidal. The thoughts did cross my mind this morning before I took the strong pain pill. I wish my psych would answer the email. I wrote in it that I would be contacting my PCP to help sort out my pain better. Whether that meant increasing the strong pain pill dose or going to a longer acting medicine, I am not sure. The regular pain pills aren’t doing much for me. They bring my pain down but not enough to feel total relief.

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