Month: August 2021

post op day 5 hysterectomy

by Midnight Demon, posted in depression

Post op day 5 hysterectomy

I’ve had a tough day. I have been in pain most of it. I had to see the surgeon today because I have yellow and greenish discharge. I have an infection so she put me on antibiotics. I was glad I didn’t have to go to the ED. I didn’t take an Uber to the hospital. I went by public transportation so I am really tired and sore. I missed a pain med dose and that has thrown me for a loop. I am trying to catch up. I think I might have a UTI as my urge to pee has been strong lately that I can’t hold off to cath. It should clear up with the broad spectrum antibiotic I am on.

I went to Starbucks to get a mocha and something to eat. I sat there before I left for the hospital. The mocha was good and so was the sandwich. I still can’t lift anything so I didn’t bring my backpack with me. I would have loved to sit and write for a bit. I might do that later this week but just bring my journal with me not the bag.

I didn’t sleep through the night. I woke up around 330 and was up for a bit afterwards. I emptied my bladder but I wasn’t tired to go back to sleep. I just read Twitter on my phone until I felt sleepy from an Ativan. I took my night meds early tonight because I am so sore and tired from walking about today. It was good. I didn’t get short of breath while out. I just got tired. I thought about taking a cab home but I ended up taking the T again. It was just easier. I had to pick up my meds at the pharmacy. I am on two antibiotics. One I have to be on for five days and the other I am on for ten. The pill for ten days is really bitter and I need to take it twice a day. I am already not looking forward to it. It took a while to get the taste out of my mouth.

The doctor took off the steri strips on my incisions. She said I was healed up. That was good. They are still sore though. I am still black and blue from the surgery. I am moving my bowels along. I didn’t take Miralax today. I will take it tomorrow as my stools are still loose. I don’t want to have an accident so am taking it every other day. The surgeon said my vaginal area was thin and she had to cauterize the area as it was bleeding. Probably why I got infected. I wish I knew what time I took my pain meds when I came home. I don’t remember. I shut off the med alarm because I was out of the house and didn’t have the meds with me. I wanted to turn it back on but I don’t remember the time I took it. I didn’t look at the clock. I hate when I am estimating the time I took my meds because I don’t know how accurate I am.

Tomorrow I am just resting. Not going to do a damn thing except write a blog. That will be the goal for the day.

Sunday Blog 22082021

by Midnight Demon, posted in baseball, blogging, CRPS, depression, FTM, mood disorders, PTSD, writing

Sunday Blog 22082021

Post op day 4 hysterectomy

I got some good sleep finally. I feel really good. I am not in as much pain as I was in yesterday. I made sure to empty my bladder throughout the night and that helped. I am cathing every four hours to make sure I am empty completely. It hurts to void so that is why I am cathing. My genital area is sore but that is to be expected and the vaginal entrance is a little swollen. I noticed some clear discharge that is not mentioned at all with the post op stuff so I hope it is nothing to be worried about. I sent my surgeon a message anyway to ask if it is a concern or not.

Only thing I am planning on doing today is reading my MLB book. I started reading it last night as I couldn’t sleep. I read for about an hour and it helped to relax. I wanted to finish the chapter but it was too long. It was covering the two decades of 1900 and 1910. A lot of interesting baseball stuff happened during those years. I am having my doubts about being able to write a book about the history of team names. There is a lot of cross over between the leagues and some cities stays and it just gets confusing because things changed year to year, season to season.

I also plan on watching DS9. I can only watch so much TV before I get bored so if I watch two episodes, I will call that a win. Because of Tropical Storm Henri, baseball has been canceled for today in the New England area. We already had a tremendous thunderstorm and heavy rain. It is supposed to continue until tomorrow. I just hope nothing floods.

I am trying to fight off a nap right now. I am so tired from just having a cup of coffee and some breakfast. I know I am tired from post op. That is a given. It just comes on so suddenly that it is overwhelming sometimes. I am not having a lot of pain today. I made sure I took my pain meds during the night as I had my med alarm set to go off. I still only slept every three hours or so because I had to empty my bladder. My bladder seems to have its own schedule. I am glad I cath. It makes me feel like a man because I am standing while peeing.

I have been in the mood to write something profound but words are escaping me. I want to write a letter to my therapist about my trauma, just talking about one aspect of it and see where it leads me. I have so much emotion pent up in me right now that I think writing about it might help. I might post it on my blog if it isn’t too graphic in detail. I think writing about my cousin’s molestations might be helpful for me. I have been having intrusive memories about it the past few days. The one thing about anesthesia that I had is it brings things to the surface that you are trying to keep undercover. But with trauma there is always something under the surface. Anything that has to do with my genitals is a trigger for my sexual abuse to be in the forefront of my mind, even if I am not conscious of it.

Pic of a puppy

by Midnight Demon, posted in depression
Cousin’s new puppy

post op day 3 hysterectomy

by Midnight Demon, posted in blogging, depression

Post op day 3 hysterectomy

I am doing better. Pain and discomfort has gone down. I really need to empty my bladder or I get severe pains in my stomach with a full bladder. I have been lazy about it because I just don’t want to get up. I have been cathing right along. I was up during the night which made me feel sluggish this morning. I haven’t had a night where I slept through or got decent sleep. I haven’t been able to sleep more than three hours straight. Napping has been difficult. My brain won’t shut off and I can’t relax.

I am going to try showering today. I might use my favorite shower gel. I just need to be careful and not get the steri-strips too wet. I never had steri-strips before so I am not sure how I am supposed to shower with them. It is really hot in the house as humidity is at like 90%. I won’t be taking a long shower.

I got into watching Star Trek: DS9 on Netflix. They have all the Star Treks TV series on there. I am so excited about this because I miss watching the shows. Star Trek was a huge part of my life when I was a teen. It provided the escape my mind needed to get away from the abuse and dysfunction of my family.

My therapist hasn’t responded to the texts I have sent her. I told her I would be in touch when I am up to seeing her. Sitting is still difficult. I couldn’t make it through the ball game last night. I still have no idea how the Sox scored their sixth run. Hurricane preparations are underway as there is heavy rain expected. I don’t think there will be a game tomorrow or Monday.