Feeling better, physically at least

Feeling better, physically at least

I woke up with a start because I thought I was going to lose control of my bladder. It’s the hurry up and run situation. It was still dusk out so I didn’t have to turn on the lights, except my bedroom light so I could see where I was going. I am feeling better than I was yesterday but I am still feel nauseous. Post nasal drip is not helping me out any. I still don’t have any appetite. But I plan on making an egg burrito in a couple of hours. I should have juice with it but am afraid the acid might make me sick as I am not feeling 100%.

I didn’t sleep very well. I woke up at 0244 and then again a few hours later. But I don’t feel as sick as I did so that is good. I hope my appetite comes back because I am seeing my friend tonight for dinner. It will suck if he eats and I dabble. I am looking forward to meeting my friend more than just having dinner with him. I enjoy his company and our talks. He is a good friend.

Since cyber Monday, I have been getting a shit load of junk email. Prices have been marked down so buy this and that. I just got one from Vitamin Shoppe. I wish I could unsubscribe from them but there is no stupid link to do so. I must get at least 5 emails from them a day. It is so annoying. I would block them but I order from them occasionally so need to have them in my contacts.

I’m still depressed. I just can’t get away from the cloud of depression. It follows me everywhere. I wish there was something I could take for it to make it go away. But I think I have suffered too long with it that there is no recovering from it. Sometimes I am at peace with it but when it’s accompanied by pain, all bets are off. I cannot tolerate psychache, least not like I used to. I used to have a high tolerance for pain. I think I still do, but I grow weary of being in pain all the time. It’s annoying. And there is no relief in sight. It’s not like I can take two aspirins and be okay. Maybe for my general physical pain I can do that, but not with psychache. It’s all in the mind and there is nothing soothing when you feel it. It consumes you to no end.

I have to take a shower sometime today before I go out. That is going to be the greatest task today. I feel crummy mentally so I don’t really want to shower. I think I am going on three days of no showering. It’s so hard when you feel like crap. I think I will try to take one around 0900 today. Then I can go to the pharmacy and pick up my prescription. If I time it right, I might be able to squeeze in a nap before my therapist’s appointment. I know I will be tired around 1000 or so. I usually am when I wake up around dusk or earlier. I’m going to need rest today if I am going to make it to my friend’s dinner date.