Wednesday Blog

Wednesday Blog

I brought so much stuff to my father’s appointment that I couldn’t do anything with it all. I did read some of Dostoevsky, but he annoyed the crap out of me when he started talking about Islam and Christianity. I had to put the tablet down because I knew he would just ramble on and on and I couldn’t deal. The appointment went faster than it did last week, which was good. We got out at a decent hour though the stupid doctor only spent a quarter of a minute with us. She just left it all up to the NP, which pissed me off.

After the appointment, my sister took us out to eat. I had a huge burger that was very good. But the fries were so so. They had garlic salt on them and I am don’t like garlic that much. I prefer to season my fries as I like them. I’ll know for next time.

I have been up since before the crack of dawn. I am now wiped out. For the first time in forever, I had to pee at least three times while I was out. I didn’t even drink that much but whatever. Each time it felt like my bladder was going to burst. I knew it wouldn’t because of the retention that I have but still, why stretch my bladder. Last thing I want is a big puddle. I can take leaking but not puddles. I don’t think physical therapy will help with that. I got to call tomorrow and see where I am going to go. The place down the street from me is having construction all around and I am not crossing the damn street with construction. I will have to go to Charlestown, which means speaking to voicemail machines again. I threw my back out while I was brushing my teeth this morning. It took an hour to get the kinks out.

I really want to nap. I am so exhausted from dealing with my father. I hope I got his new regimen of meds right. I had to count the days several times as the PCP has him on a TTSS schedule for his fluid pills. And then his INR is on another schedule. I was already fatigued when I got there so my brain just wouldn’t function. It was so frustrating.

My ankle is hurting really good. I didn’t wear heavy boots today just a slip on kind as the weather was mild even if it was cold. There wasn’t too much ice and snow despite it snowing flurries. People need to shovel their walkways or they get ticketed in my city. Only problem is that where the property divides, there is usually a snow bank, making it impossible to pass so you are better off walking in the street anyway.

I didn’t have to walk too much but I did have to wheel my father around the hospital because he is a fuck. He was tired today so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. My ankle still smarts from that walking. Now that I think of it, I don’t know why my sister didn’t wheel him. Oh well, next time.

I really am feeling lousy because I am so tired. I just feel really run down, though I haven’t done anything physical or mentally draining. I hope I am not getting sick. Think I will up my vitamin D just in case. D always makes me feel better. A nap always does too.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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