New Favorite Song: Think of You

New favorite song: Think of You

I have been listening to this song since last night, non-stop. I cannot wait till I get paid next week so I can buy the album. Chris Young is one of my favorite artists. I am really surprised this song isn’t on the radio as it has over 13 million views.

I watched my niece for a little bit until her other grandmother came and got her. Afterwards, I went to the grocery store to get some half and half. I so needed a cup of coffee. Luckily, I time it right with the buses so I didn’t have to wait too long. It was really hot out and I was sweating by the time I came home. I made the coffee and then some breakfast. I figure I would have something to eat as I really haven’t had breakfast all week. I have been too sleepy to make it.

Last night I gave the run down of my illness for the past seven months. I sent it to my psychiatrist and will send it to my therapist next week. I then got the worst spasms in my legs and arms I ever felt. I swear every muscle group went spastic on me. It was awful. I took another Ativan and it didn’t help. Then I thought I was withdrawing from my pain medicine so I took a pill and things finally settled down. I didn’t take any pain pills the entire day because I wasn’t in significant pain. I won’t be doing that again.

I had felt so awful I thought about paging my pdoc to see if she had any ideas on how to stop the spasticity. But it was late (around midnight) and I was too afraid she might have me go to the ER or something. If taking my pain meds didn’t work, I would have called her. It was kind of urgent that I speak to her but thankfully, things settled down and I fell asleep. I did have a good sleep as I didn’t wake up till around 0900. I checked on my niece to make sure she was dressed and ready to see her grandmother. She said she washed up and brushed her teeth. So I am going on her word that those things were done.

I need to take a shower today but I think I will take it this evening. I haven’t really taken one all week. I finally called PT and have an appointment on the 12 of Aug. I need to get a new prescription because the one they faxed over is “old”. I don’t understand how they can get old. It was written a month ago so how can it be old? Just wasting paper.

Coffee really gave me energy. Maybe I can tackle the hamper I have been meaning to clean out. I might change my sheets. That will take some energy. Last time I changed them, it nearly threw my back out. I will take it easy though. I need to wash my comforter, too.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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