Baking Saturday


Baking Saturday

I had an awful night of sleeping and before I finally passed out, I emailed my psychiatrist. I basically told her I was finished, washed up and that I had picked out a date. I also told her not to expect me at some future appointment. I then explained how my pain had gotten to the point where I was taking two pain medications and winging it on my own as my PCP’s office didn’t care. I was expecting a phone call in the morning, which I never got. I don’t know if she reads her emails on Saturdays.

When I finally woke up, it was really early afternoon. I felt better and had a little energy. I made breakfast and coffee. It was close to the Nebraska football game time by the time I finished my coffee so I decided to bake. The picture is the finished product of my cake. I can’t wait to taste it. It is cooling off now. It has to refrigerate for at least two hours. Luckily, I found space in my fridge for it.

I also made dinner for my mother and I. It was just a pre-made chicken pot pie that needed to be heated up. Afterwards, I did all the dishes and pans. I am tired and my ankle is thanking me for it. I left the Nebraska game at half time. They were leading 17-8. I am listening to my new Pearl Jam CD Lost Dogs. It’s pretty good. It was the only CD that I didn’t own. My coloring book came today but the crayons don’t come until tomorrow. Go figure. I am going to give adult coloring a try and see if I can “relax” when I am bored or my pain is out of control.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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