Tag: Deflategate

Sports rant and other things

by Midnight Demon, posted in blogging, depression, mood disorders

Sports rant and other things

Patriots have received their verdict on deflategate. A one million dollar fine for the team and Tom Brady is suspended for four games. All because he supposedly deflated a bunch of footballs for a championship game. According to the report that was made, said it was “probable”. How they defined this, I don’t know. Meanwhile someone who committed domestic violence gets suspended for two games. Seems fair. You deflate footballs, you get four game suspension. You beat your wife publicly, you get two games. I don’t fucking get it. The NFL is a fucking joke right now. Appeals will be made. I think this is just a hoopla to keep the NFL in the news as it is the offseason. No one should care about football until August, when pre-season starts. As hard as I am trying to ignore this, I can’t. I really like Tom and I don’t think he is a cheater. Cheaters don’t win 42-7.

The baseball game is late today. The Sox are on the west coast so the games don’t start until 22:00. I hate west coast games. There was talk that the lineup was going to change so I was scanning Twitter all friggen day to see if it was true. But it wasn’t. The lineup was the same, with the exception of Victorino being added to it. He came off the DL today. I hope he stays healthy. We need his bat, and his speed around the bases.

I have been feeling tired all day. I took a nap for about forty-five minutes. I really didn’t want to get up but my bladder was calling. It was humid today and still is, though I think with the sun going down, it’s cooling off and getting tolerable. I cannot stand humidity and heat. It will make me crazy. Tomorrow we are getting the remnants of Ana, a hurricane that was off the coast of the Carolinas. I am glad it will be raining. It has been really dry the last few days. We aren’t expected to get rain the rest of the week. Which probably means more sunshine. I hate sunshine. It just is too bright. It also makes me kind of suicidal. There was a study that showed that suicides tend to occur when sunshine happens for more than 7 days but not more than 30. It was an unusual finding and one that I didn’t really understand. But I do believe it. I tend to be more suicidal during the summer months than I am any other time of the year. Except it’s not even summer yet. It’s still spring. Total wackiness. But I will take the good weather over the freezing cold. This winter was harsh.

I am depressed. The past two days I have been getting by eating three oatmeal cookies and a sandwich. Yesterday I had the cookies and a hot dog. I couldn’t finish the second one. Then later that evening tried to have sausages and potatoes and I was up most of the night with a stomach ache. I just ate too much food, even though it really wasn’t. I don’t get how my appetite can be feast or famine sometimes. I wish I would lose weight but it’s just not possible because I am so inactive. I know that if I was working, I would have no trouble losing the weight during days I don’t eat. I just feel full and bloated. If I didn’t know any better, I say I am the size of a full grown cow. All I had was a turkey sub. And I had to finish the last half of it by forcing it down. I wasn’t going to waste half a sandwich. My mother would have a fit.

I don’t think I am going to be able to stay up past midnight to listen to this game. I just am wiped out and I don’t know why. I really didn’t do much today. I delivered some stuff to my father, took a nap, then picked up my niece from after school. I watched her for about an hour while I read my book and she played on the computer. I am reading “Brilliant Blunders” by Mario Livio. It’s an interesting book. Part I am reading right now is dealing with how DNA was discovered. And it was by a blunder that it wasn’t by another person other than Watson and Crick.

I hate that on days when I don’t go out by T, I am more tired than if I just stayed at home. I guess driving takes more out of you than you think it does.

Sports and Other Things

by Midnight Demon, posted in baseball, Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Been trying to write today but keep being distracted by Twitter. A lot has been going on today in the sports world. Deflategate has resurfaced and in baseball news, the pitching coach was fired. In addition to that, my *favorite* pitcher got designated for assignment, which means goodbye, see ya, hope to never see you again. He was a good for nothing pitcher, giving up home runs with inherited runners, all the time. He lost more ball games than I can remember winning. Or if we were losing, made sure we really lost. But the firing of the pitching coach, to me, was unexpected. I understand as the pitchers barely went more than three innings the last few games and it’s hard on the bullpen to be called earlier than they should start. Someone had to get chucked and it was the pitching coach. I am sure the hitting coach is probably next if the Sox don’t start hitting. You need good pitchers and hitters to win games, even if it is by one run.

Deflategate is back because the NFL just ruled that the Patriots and their quarterback was “probable” in deflating the balls for a game. No punishment has been issued, officially, but the haters want to see them stripped of the Superbowl title, the QB suspended 2-4 games to a year and the head coach fired. It is ridiculous. I don’t know what is going to happen. I just wish they would hurry up and make a decision so this can all go away. I know every single game this season is going to bring up the deflated balls. I usually don’t listen to the commentary because the game is so fast. I am watching the game more than listening to the “analysis” or prediction of what is going to happen next. It really is stupid. What happens, happens. Next play the QB could trip on his own feet and there is a fumble rather than a great play. You just don’t know. Though the game is a little bit more predictable than baseball. You know the QB is going to throw the ball to someone and hope he catches it.

There is not a Sox game tonight because it is a travel day. They are usually off on Thursdays. I am kind of depressed that there is no game because I have literally nothing to watch. I could watch my shows but my mother is still watching hers. I won’t be able to get the TV until after eight. But my foot/ankle is hurting so unless I got to go to the bathroom, I am not leaving my room.

I had therapy for the third time this week. We talked but it didn’t go anywhere. I swear whenever she says “this is something we need to work on”, I cringe because I know it’s not going anywhere beyond today. I really want to tell her this, but I just let her finish her thoughts on the subject and let them land where they may. Today’s topic was how not to get guilt tripped by my mother and I had to laugh because she, my therapist, guilt trips me all the time. It was a hard session because physically, I didn’t feel well. I kept on getting congested and the post nasal drip was making me very nauseated. There were times during session I couldn’t speak because I didn’t know if I was going to puke or not. Allergies are in full range today and my nose kept on dripping. This is despite taking an antihistamine that is supposed to last 24 hours. Lately, it has been lasting only 18-20. I was also feeling dizzy most of the day, which is weird. I have been keeping up with my fluids so I am not sure why I was dizzy.

Today was the first day in a long time I woke up early (around 0500) and then went back to sleep! It was only for a couple of hours but I went back to sleep. And I didn’t take a mid-morning nap like I usually do. I did try to take an afternoon nap before I picked up my niece but that didn’t work out. I just rested. I still haven’t heard back from my psychiatrist concerning my delusions and what to do with them. I should have paged her last night. I was really in bad shape but I am better today. I talked about it with my therapist as I was paranoid after our session and the voices were watching me most of the day. I ended up taking my meds early and was asleep before ten or there abouts. So I slept almost seven hours straight. I hope to get that much tonight.

Sound of a Million Dreams

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, chronic physical pain, depression

Sound of a million dreams

I heard this song today and it got me thinking about stuff, like it always does. Song is by David Nail. One of the lines is, “I labor for hours because I know the power of song when a song hits you right”. It reminds me of the song that I analyzed and wrote about a few years ago. I have it published on my blog and I hope that one day it will be in a journal of some sort. Maybe when I get my degree.

I am so tired today. I haven’t done anything. I should be making space for this new printer I plan on getting this week. Damn ink is going to cost more than the printer! It will be good to get a printer again, a working one! I have two right now that are junk. I plan on putting them on my front lawn and say “FREE”. They will be done in no time. Only problem is that it snowed today so I can’t put them out yet. I am NOT putting this new printer in my office. It gets too hot in there because my mother keeps the door shut all the time. It will dry out the ink really quick and I don’t want that happening to my new ink. I just hope there isn’t an ink fiasco like I have had at work installing new printer cartridges. Seems I get more ink on my hands than I do in the printer!

I have been quiet on Twitter today. I really don’t have much to say. I found out that the AFSP (American Foundation of Suicide Prevention) has finally fucking recognized ‘lived experiences’. They have designated some blue ribbon in recognition of this. I commented a little about it on Twitter but not too much. I know that suicide can be a sore subject for those that have survived a suicide. I am going through that with the loss of my friend Chris.

I bought a gallon of spring water and it is still sitting on my bed. I plan on filling up my used water bottles, that is the plan anyway. I don’t drink as much water as I should but once I get thirsty, sucking down water is easy.

I’m in minimal pain today. Though I am so damn sleepy. I didn’t have a good sleep. I woke up at 0430. Then 0630. I forced myself back to sleep and woke up a few hours later. I shut my phone off so I didn’t get distracted. I knew my father was going to call sometime after 0900 to see when I was going to come over. But it was really snowy and icy so I decided to stay home. I am surprised I didn’t get any delay alerts for the buses today. I am glad they are running on time. I hope they run on time tomorrow so I can quickly see my father and then leave. I hate spending time with him. He is so vain. The world revolves around him. I can’t stand him but I have to put up with him.

I am still waiting for my tax information from Amazon about my book. I still am not sure if I am going to go to H&R block or try and do the taxes myself. Last year I didn’t file because all I collected was my disability check. I think I might get in trouble because I didn’t file my state. Our state says that you need to file to make sure you have health insurance or you get penalized. But I didn’t file for my federal so figured I didn’t have to for my state. I will owe this year because of my book sales. I just hope it’s not a lot of money.

And the memes for Deflategate still keep coming. I wish I could block the content of every single one, but then I will greatly decrease my readership of the people I have known for a year now. I wish the Superbowl was this weekend so it would finally end. And it’s always the Pats that seem to get stuck with the ridiculousness of stupidity. Nevermind the NFL is full of wife beaters, rape assholes, and dog abusers. That is ok. But fucking play with a deflated ball and holy hell breaks loose.