MY pdoc today said that she is a fan of mine. I found it amazing that she would say something so sweet. We also talked about our anniversary and I said that we should go out for dinner but that would be over stepping a boundary.
I did tell her about my pseudo attempt and she understands why I get that way. I told her all my plans went out the window and it’s so hard to reach out when you are in so much pain. She didn’t say much but she understood that when pain hits, I become a suicidal maniac until the pain eases up. If I did call her that night, I am sure she probably would have wanted me to call my PCP and tell him I needed more pain meds to get it under control. Probably but its not like they can call in for a narc over the phone or without being seen.
I am not in a good mood after today. I am hurting physically and am angry about it. No matter what I do I always seem to be in more pain for doing things I want to do, like walking to my doctor’s appt. Doesn’t seem like I am doing much but it takes so much out of me. Plus not sleeping has been annoying me and making me cranky. I am so cranky right now that I could dope slap anyone right now if they pissed me off in any way.
I saw my PCP’s colleague today because he wasn’t available. I wish I had waited until he was. I have to get another head MRI to rule out something on it and had a blood test for Myasthenia Gravis to rule out that. I am so tired about this and still can’t see that I am typing without my glasses because my eyes hurt. I am going to take a migraine med tonight to see if that helps. The doc thinks it is an atypical or ocular migraine that I am experiencing. I don’t care what it is I just want to be able to read and write again without agony. It’s almost 6 pm EST so I am going to take a nap and then the heavy drugs to go to sleep. I need to rest my head before it explodes so maybe I do indeed have a migraine going on.
midnightdemons7 