hygiene and other things

I feel like I should get a medal. I showered and brushed my teeth, with pain and discomfort between my back and my damn foot. While I was drying off, my foot started cramping. It always does this and I don’t know why. It takes me at least 10 mins to recover to continue drying off. It fucking sucks.

It just started snowing so I won’t be going out. I wasn’t planning on it but sometimes I think a Starbucks reward for showering is in order. I’ll just make my Hawaiian coffee. Did I tell you about this nectar of the gods? My therapist gave me it for my birthday, not really as she bought it when she went to Hawaii in July. But when I saw her on my birthday, she finally was able to give it to me. I had it last week and it was very good coffee. I never had Kona before and I could tell the bag was just enough for a regular pot of coffee. I make coffee by the cup so I just used what I needed and it came out awesome. It has a very distinctive taste. Too bad it was just a small coffee bag. But I think I will be able to get at least three cups out of it. I only use 4 tablespoons.

I started reading “The Brothers Karamazov”. It is very interesting and very boring. No action occurs. Just writing, writing, and more writing. Sometimes he stays on point. Other times he varies off. But that is the Dostoevsky way. I just finished the first book and am working on the second. There are I believe five books in this novel. It’s going to take a long time to read this book.

I woke up early, around 0600 and I couldn’t not get back to sleep so I decided to get up and make some hot cocoa. I had a cereal bar and that has been it. I am planning on making an egg burrito for my lunch and breakfast. I might make some tater tots as well. It all depends on if my pain levels settle down. Taking a shower just takes so much out of me that it takes some time to recover. That is why it happens when I can’t stand myself anymore. I have tried to take it every other day or every three days but that hasn’t been working out for me.

I feel so sleepy. I really want to nap but the football game is going to start in a couple of hours and I don’t want to miss it. I want to make coffee but it’s really cold in the kitchen. The heat there sucks almost as bad as my room as there is no insulation in the walls and the radiator decides to work only when it wants to. My feet are cold and I know that if I go in the kitchen, even with my slippers, they are going to turn to ice. I don’t know why the house is so cold. It’s in the mid thirties so the heat should be cooking, unless my mother turned it down. It was really warm in my room earlier. I just put on thermal socks on my feet and a sweatshirt. I hope I start to feel warm before the game starts.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to hygiene and other things

  1. Mmmm, Kona coffee! I had some when I was in Hawaii years ago. Nectar from the gods! So nice of your therapist to share her stash! That stuff is really expensive, even in Hawaii. Hmmm, Hawaii sounds really good right now…wish I could afford to pick up and go. Hope it gets warmer in your place!

  2. Hi! Yikes about the foot cramping! Do you know what movement causes it to cramp and which part of your foot cramps? A cramp happens when a muscle belly suddenly gets the signals from your brain to fire, but the brain somehow doesn’t send a signal to stop firing. So the muscle belly shortens and tightens up. The fastest way to get it to stop is to stretch that same muscle out, which sends a signal up to your brain for it to calm down. So if it’s the bottom of your foot that cramps, which usually causes the toes to curl painfully, put your whole foot down on the floor the minute you start to feel it and put pressure on it. Let me know if you have questions. I hope it works!

  3. manyofus1980 says:

    Haiwaian coffee sounds delicious. I’d drink that. You use 4 tablespoons of coffee in a cup? Wow. Thats strong. I dont like mine too be that strong. X

any thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s