Fridge Fiasco

Fridge Fiasco

I helped my mother this morning emptying the fridge and putting them either outside or on the porch where it is cold. I then went upstairs to my room and slept as I wasn’t feeling good. My ankle still hurts and the pain pills were kicking in. When I woke up a few hours later, the delivery guy was here but our new fridge wasn’t. It was damaged. My mother was beyond bullshit. How could they load a damaged unit and not know it until they reached a customer’s house?? It doesn’t make any sense. So all our work this morning was wasted and now we had to put everything back. It did wonders for my ankle.

I still am in a shitty mood. I hate being in pain and I have been for more than 24 hours now. I know it is because I did too much. Two straight days of being at the hospital and traveling by T just killed me. I don’t know how I am going to handle going there 3 days a week for two weeks. I am just glad it is in the afternoon and not the morning. I am not a morning person. Only thing that sucks about this is that I can’t go to the square to get my coffee. I will have to make it at home.

I am also in a bad mood because SSD lied to me or at least got the wrong information. Yesterday they told me they didn’t receive any information from my therapist and today it miraculously appeared. My therapist didn’t receive anything. So I am not sure who is the faulty party. And I don’t know what information they want/needed that they have. Pisses me off that I am jumping through hoops here. She said that I would get a notification in a few weeks. Great. Just fucking great. Meanwhile the voices are running rampant saying that I am not going to get awarded because I am a lazy ass. That I am not disabled enough and other horrible things. I really can’t take it. I feel like I am losing it. Maybe I have lost it. I really just want to die. That will solve everything, least in my mind.

While we were going through the freezer stuff, I found the PF Chang food that I forgot that I bought. I think I will have that tonight for dinner. It will go nicely with some Jasmine rice. Least that is what I want to do. It might not happen because of my pain. Between putting the food back in the fridge and then making a hamburger for lunch, my ankle is toast. Today is gearing up to be just a pain med day. I am really sleepy, too. I do hope that my therapist has an opening today but it’s already 1330 and she hasn’t called me so I am thinking it’s not going to happen.

I’m debating on making coffee. I haven’t had it and I am really sleepy. But then, pain meds will do that to you. I need to take another dose soon as my ankle is screaming at me. I wish it would pipe down. I might need to pull out the big guns (stronger pain med). I hate taking this med because of constipation. It really backs me up. I am going to try taking some Neurontin to try and see if that helps me sleep some. I doubt it but it might ease some of my pain, too.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Fridge Fiasco

  1. I already am receiving SSD. I am under review for the first time so I am really nervous about it. Hence why the voices are being so mean to me. As if I don’t have enough on my plate. my sister says I have nothing to worry about because I am still seeing doctors for my condition. It’s just a review to see if I am still eligible for SSD. I just wish I could get my paperwork for it and be done with it.

  2. Aaaargh! What a nightmare with the fridge.

    Don’t freak out if SSD denies you. My therapist assured me that they would, because they deny a lot of people the first time around. I had to go before a judge and everything. I got an SSD attorney and she fixed me right up. They’re not allowed to charge you anything. They take a cut off your lump sum settlement. My judge said I should have been getting benefits since 2000, but they can only give you retroactive benefits for two years, which is still great. So tell your voices I told them to shut the fork up and go to bed. You might have to go around a couple of times, but you will get your benefits.

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