Turn on the Neon Light

Turn on the Neon Light

I’m back to listening to Eric Church’s new album. I am stuck on “Mixed Drinks about Feelings”. This song just gets me. I don’t know what it is about the song that gets me going.

Today is the final match up between Tom Brady and Pey-a-ton Manning. Least I hope it will be. Manning deserves to get his ass whooped and severely at that. But I know this is going to be a nail biter of a game. Both teams want the Super Bowl badly. It’s going to be nerve racking. I just hope I have the house to myself. I plan on having a margarita, just a small one. It’s premixed so I don’t have to do anything. No mixing of alcohol, just pour and serve. But something tells me that my mother is not going out and I will have to watch the game on my small kitchen TV.

I spent the morning calling Sears to get a new fridge for my mother. It was a no go. Every time I got a human they told me to call some other number. It was so damn frustrating. Then because the phone rang and rang for so long it got hung up. So now my mother has to go to the store to order it. She doesn’t believe in online orders, though I am kind of with her on that front. Spending over $500 is a big purchase and you should see it before buying it. Only thing that I will buy online for that amount of money would be a laptop because I know what I am getting. All my laptops have been Dells so I am partial to that company.

I woke up again in pain. I made some lunch after I took a reasonably longer shower than I am used to. My ankle didn’t like that. I was still hungry after the cheeseburger so made some popcorn. We have an air-popper and it makes really good homemade popcorn. Now my ankle really hates me but I really want a drink so I am not going to take anymore pain meds.

Last night I realized that it would be convenient and cost effective if I got my blood pressure meds via mail than retail pharmacy. So I put the request in. I hope tomorrow they do what I ask. I was very clear in my email. But I was clear the last time I requested a 90 day supply and I got a 30 day supply. I hope they send it to the right place because I am running low and I don’t want to spend $20 if I don’t have to. Tomorrow I need to refill my pain meds. I hope the sidewalks are clear as we got a few inches of snow last night. Last thing I need is to twist my ankle in the snow because someone didn’t shovel.

I haven’t read anything in the last few days. I keep meaning to but I’m stuck. The last chapter I read for the EBP in Suicidology was a tough but short chapter. It was kind of rag time and I hated reading it. But I started the book and I am going to finish it. I am on chapter 4 now. There are like 15 chapters I think, so I am almost 1/3 way through the book. I haven’t gone back to Explorations in Personality. I will do that when I am desperate for something to read or when I need to be bored to hell. It is so tough reading this book because you need a dictionary to help you read it. You also need to make mental notes as you go along because the author like to abbreviate common words as he is going along. It is annoying. The third book I am reading is Dostoevsky. I really need to read that book when I have patience or want to get lost into nothingness.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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