made it out for coffee and pizza

Made it out for coffee and pizza

I woke up in time to catch the next bus to the square, though my uncle saw me at the bus stop and offered me a ride. That was so nice of him. It was really muggy today. There were hardly any seats at Starbucks when I got there. I had a double shot of espresso over ice and then added soy milk. It’s better than spending $4 for a soy latte. My friend told me about this and I have been drinking it when I don’t have my cold brewed coffee. I wanted to read some psych today but I just couldn’t get in the mood to read. I was sitting in an uncomfortable chair so I just decided to write in my journal until the next bus home came.

I got my prescription filled and ran my mother’s errand. She called me on the bus ride home. I wasn’t too hungry when I got home and then I did so I ordered a pizza. I didn’t feel like having it delivered so I just took a walk and picked it up. I was sweating bullets by the time I came back home with the hot pizza. I had two slices and then I was full. I plan on having more tonight for dinner. I can eat pizza the whole day. It’s one of my favorite foods.

I paged my psych to tell her how things are going. I am still waiting to hear back from her. I hope the talk goes well and doesn’t end up with me going to the psych ER. The voices have been fairly under control with taking 8 mg of trilafon. I have been keeping the 4 mg doses apart and it seems to be working well. Sometimes you just got to play a little to know what works. It’s always a trial and error when using psych medications. Thing is, remembering to take it. I took the dose before I left the house because going on the bus and train sometimes causes me to get agitated. It can be a little sedating but I had the coffee so it perked me up.

Baseball game is on tonight. They are playing the Skankees. They suck more than we do so I hope we win. They are playing in NY, which I am sure is more humid than Boston right now. I hope the second half of baseball goes smoothly for my guys. It’s been a rough start but we are still only two games back from 1st place.

I feel like making coffee even though I just had a cup. I try not to have more than one cup of coffee a day because I can get agitated and that is the last thing I need right now. I sometimes will have two cups but only if they are spaced out so not to give me the jitters. I don’t know why I crave a second cup of coffee lately. I am just afraid it will mess with my sleep if I do have it.

My psych got back to me. She is glad she heard from me. She is okay with the 8 mg but would like me to go back down if I can. I really don’t want to because things were pretty scary with just taking the 4 mg.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

any thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s