Long day after a painful night

Long day after a painful night

I didn’t go to bed until at least 3 in the morning. I was up in pain most of the night. Every time I laid down, my foot acted up and was very painful. It was giving me such anxiety that I had to take an Ativan to calm down or I knew I would be up till god knows what hour. Pain meds were worthless because the pain started after I took them, which has been the case lately. I texted my therapist that I was canceling sessions and that I was done fighting this bullshit.

We met today and talked about it. She said that I wasn’t cancelling the session or she would tack some more on. We spent the session talking about the difficulty of being in pain most of the night and the anxiety it is creating. If we talked about other stuff, I don’t remember but we are still on for tomorrow, much to my chagrin. I told her it wasn’t worth seeing her and she blew me off.

I gave her some of my cake. No sooner had I left her office, she texted me to say how yummy it was and she was eating the whole thing. I laughed. I was almost an hour early back with the car as I took it an extra half hour because I wasn’t sure of traffic as it was a new location that I got the car. I had to drive around the block as it was a one way street. I walked home and waited for my grocery delivery.

I wasn’t happy with my grocery delivery. They substituted the wrong kind of pumpkin that I needed for my pies and other goodies. And then the pie crust that I ordered was in pieces. I was not happy. I called them up and got a credit for those items. What I am going to do with the pie crusts now, I have no clue. I am so annoyed. Now I have to go to the store to buy the right pumpkin for my desserts. Good thing I don’t plan on baking until this weekend.

I am so fricken tired and annoyed. My mother called me while I was driving home and she asked where I was. I told her I didn’t know. I really didn’t. I knew I was either in Newton or Watertown but not sure where. I was driving for crying out loud. Then she asked why I was driving so I said to see my therapist. She misunderstood and thought I said visiting the cemetery. I got annoyed and rushed her off the phone. When I got home, she was mad at me. I don’t fricken care. Get a fucking hearing aid and I wouldn’t be so annoyed at you.

I put my groceries away. There was no room in the freezer for my things so I had to go to the basement to put some stuff there. Tomorrow I plan on making Hawaiian chicken. I can’t wait. It’s a slow cooker recipe so if I start at 1100 it should be ready by 1600 or so. I don’t know how thick the chicken breasts are though, that might determine how long I cook it for. Last time I made a similar recipe, the chicken got really dry because I over cooked it. I didn’t realize it because I was going by the directions not by how the chicken was prepared. Now I know what to look for. I got my Naan bread. Think I will have it with the chicken.

I haven’t had dinner yet. I had a cheeseburger when I came home. I might make the last patty but I really want cake. Or a nap. I can’t really decide. My ankle is killing me so it needs to be something simple. I bought avocados so I could make my avocado burger, but that seems like a hassle as I am getting lazy. I might just have a muffin and call it a night. I am really tired and cranky. I am sure I will pay for it tonight.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Long day after a painful night

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    Well to be fair I’ve never tasted an avocado but it sounds disgusting to me, ha ha ha

  2. G. Collerone says:

    avocados are good for you. they are yummy! Though pumpkin is better 😛

  3. manyofus1980 says:

    pumkin pie yummy! I want a slice! so jealous. you can keep the avocado though yuck. xxx

  4. G. Collerone says:

    excuses, excuses, LOL

  5. That’s when you need to just mush it into a ball and flatten it out again. Takes 5 minutes. I’d help you, but I’m a bit far away…

  6. G. Collerone says:

    that is what my mother said to do, how ever it’s more like a jigsaw puzzle putting them back together and i don’t have the patience.

  7. If they are regular pie crusts you can simply let them defrost, then brush a bit of water on either with a pastry brush or your fingertips. Then press the edges of the fracture back together by smooshing each edge against the bottom of the pan until there is some overlap there.

    Graham cracker crusts can be fixed by setting another pie pan on top and squeezing them together.

    If a flour pie crust is absolutely shattered, thaw it, roll the dough into a ball, and roll it out the regular way.

    I’ve had broken pie crusts even after being super careful….nature of the beast. Yum yum pumpkin yummies!!!

any thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s