trouble with being awake all night

Trouble with being awake all night

Because I was awake most of the night, I slept all day. I really wanted to get up around 1400 but I just couldn’t bare to get out of bed. So I took another nap until my mother called me about an hour later. I was too lazy to turn over to reach for the phone so I let it go to voicemail. I had to get up anyways to pee so it wasn’t like a big deal. Except it was to my mother. She was pissed I didn’t answer the phone. What the fuck ever. I couldn’t deal with her. I made a bagel and then went back up to my room. It was the only thing I ate all day, to that point.

My brother in law called me about two hours later asking if I wanted pumpkin pie. I was in the middle of the BPD chat so when that ended, I went downstairs. I had two pieces and it hit the spot just lovely. I should have brought one of my recycle bins down but I didn’t think of it. I will tomorrow. I am not in the mood to do anything today.

It was cold and rainy most of the day so I am glad I didn’t go out. I have to tomorrow. I want to work on my book and go to Starbucks. Tomorrow is the last day I can collect 150 points by ordering a frappucino. I ordered the other two items. I don’t really like frapps but I will have it to collect points. I really hate their new point system to get free drinks. It’s really stupid. Before, you just needed like 12 drinks to collect one free one. Now you need points per item or dollar spent. I don’t even know how it works. I just know you need like 203 points to get a free reward. Stupid.

I’m in a lot of pain tonight. Nerve pain and physical pain. Oh joy. Makes me wish I was fucking dead. I took my night meds earlier than usual because I have been so sleepy. But pain is keeping me up. I took some pain meds a couple of hours ago but I didn’t note the time. I think it was around 1600 or so. I can’t take another dose for another two hours. I’ll just take some Neurontin for the nerve pain and hope for the best. I really hope I get to sleep soon. I am just really exhausted from dealing with pain all the time.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to trouble with being awake all night

  1. Jackie says:

    Paimsomnia is miserable

any thoughts?

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