Sunday Blog 27

Sunday Blog 27

I’ve been in pain most of the day. I tried sleeping it off but my mother was baking and needed help with some stuff. Then while I was resting, she screamed my name and that jolted me awake. She was okay, but needed help with dinner. I made dinner, ate and then went back to my room. I got hungry a little while later so I went and ate some more. Now I feel full.

I did my meds for the week. Because I wasn’t feeling good, I decided to hold off on changing the foam topper on my bed. I just don’t have the energy to take the stuff off my bed and then wait for my brother in law to help remove the old and replace the new. I am just too tired. Even now, I feel like I can fall asleep but I can’t because it will mess up my bed time sleep. It took me a while to fall asleep last night. I think I fell asleep sometime after midnight. I did end up taking a strong pain pill because I was hurting so bad. It was almost at suicidal proportions.

I took a nap anyways. I woke up when my mother went to bed. I thought it was late because the past couple of evenings she has been going to bed later than usual. But it was only 1945 so I was safe. I feel better now that I slept. I took my meds and hope I can get back to sleep soon. My allergies are acting up though so I have been sneezing my head off. I’ve been blowing my nose so much that it hurts. Hope I am not getting sick. First time in five years that I managed not to get a cold all winter long.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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