tiring type of day

Tiring type of day

I didn’t sleep well last night. I was up late because pain was keeping me from sleeping. I decided to do some grocery shopping and ordered a bunch of stuff. I am having it delivered some time tomorrow morning, I hope. When I did go to sleep, it wasn’t for long and I woke up in pain so had to take more pain meds. I woke up with a headache and needing coffee. I was also hungry so decided to make a burger for my breakfast. It was good. Then I made coffee and took a nap.

It wasn’t a restful nap because even while I was dreaming, I dreamt I was in pain. My ankle is really hurting me. I already took a strong pain pill before I fell asleep and I still don’t have much relief. I might have to take another one. I just feel so drained. My mother called me and wondered why I wasn’t out. She is starting to piss me off about this. I told her I was in pain and she got off the phone with me. I am so annoyed. All because she wanted me to go to Walgreens to get eggs. I wanted to go but I just couldn’t. I am in severe pain.

Surprisingly, my mood is not horrible. I feel depressed because it’s nice out and I can’t be walking around. I keep thinking about what the therapist said about suicide and how he deals with it. Something he said isn’t sitting well with me or maybe it is and that scares me. I have two weeks to mull it over. I’ll be making a list of questions to ask him so I don’t forget.

I knew today was going to be a rest day because I was out of the house for more than four hours yesterday. I am just not feeling so great today because of this hangover feeling I have. I know it’s probably because I didn’t sleep well last night, or really at all. I just want to take an Ativan and see if I can sleep soundly for a few hours. But I am running low on it so I don’t want to foolishly take it.

I was talking with my family member that has been having psych difficulties. I have been trying to get them to see a therapist but now they are feeling “ok” and don’t want help. I feel like bashing my head against a wall. This person is an adult do I can’t force them into therapy but it just worries me what they might have another paranoid episode and get worse than what they are. It’s hard seeing a love one suffer so much and your hands are tied because they need to want help.

I called the therapist I saw yesterday. I want to talk to him again. He said he had some times available tomorrow so I am hoping he still does. I just feel like I need to talk to him before he goes on vacation. I hope he calls me back.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to tiring type of day

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    rest days are good sometimes. I like making food sometimes for breakfast that isn’t breakfast food. I am glad you got to have a burger and it was nice. xx

any thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s