Nice day and better mood
Yesterday I was swimming in despair and today I felt like I was on top of the world. It’s like night and day. Unreal. I hope my mood stays up. I really don’t want another low low. I went out twice today. I went to the post office and was dressed to warmly. I came home and changed to shorts and then caught the next bus to the square. I had a caramel macchiato and a java chip frap. I was going to work on my blog project but my mind was all over the place. I mostly just wrote in my journal.
It’s a BAD thing to have the Amazon app on my phone. Last night I had a hard time sleeping despite being drowsy around 2130. Around 0300 I am buying pens. I must have bought seven different kinds of pens, all the same ink, all the same brand but different points. I wanted to replace the Jetstream sport pen that I bought but I couldn’t find it. I have only 2 pens left in the box. I write a lot with them. I try alternating my pens so that each has their fair share of writing but I have favorites so I might use one pen style more than the other. I really like the sport. I am going to have to Google it to find it.
After Starbucks, I went to the butcher’s shop to buy some burgers and fish. My mother wanted fish for tomorrow so I got it. She might not be happy with the price but I don’t care. It’s been a while since I had cod and I want it. It’s my money anyway. I paid like eight bucks for it so it wasn’t that expensive.
I wanted to have ribs today but I just couldn’t bring myself to make it. I had a frozen dinner instead. I had bought two packages of ribs because they were on sale. I’ll probably make it tomorrow. I bought the burgers for the weekend. Maybe I can bribe my nephew over and we can watch the game while eating them.
I feel like a shitbag because I haven’t finished my blog project. I haven’t touched it in over a week now. I don’t know what my problem is. It’s not that difficult but I just can’t find the motivation to read and take notes. I guess when you have these self made projects with no one giving you a deadline or pushing you but you it’s hard to do. I am going to try tomorrow but I am not sure. It’s supposed to be 70 degrees tomorrow and I want to go to my spot to see if I can walk there and back. I have to call my psychiatrist tomorrow afternoon for a check in. Hope my mood stays up so I can do things.
Last night as I was feeling kind of low, I decided to buy the complete series of Star Trek: the Next Generation. I think it will do me good to watch the show again. I really miss the distraction it provides. I just hope I don’t dissociate or the voices become out of control. That was one of the reasons why I had to stop watching the show, it made me psychotic and delusional. But it’s been years since I have watched it so I am hoping nothing will happen again. It might just feel like coming home. I miss the show so much. It was the first show where I knew all the actors and actresses by name and character. I had a crew picture on my wall in my bedroom as a teen when the show first came out. I also read the books. I had a pretty good collection going, my favorite authors being Peter David and Michael Jan Friedman. The other authors weren’t as good and were hard to read or were just plain boring. I actually had the pleasure of meeting Peter David at a con in Boston some years ago. He is pretty funny.