busted jeans and other news

Busted jeans and other news

I didn’t want to get up this morning, not at all. I felt like calling my psych and telling her to forget the appointment but I got up anyways. I went to Starbucks and had something to eat along with my mocha. Starbucks rewards has a promo going where I earn extra stars for buying mochas. No problem for me as it’s my favorite drink. I then tried reading a research article but my brain wasn’t in it. I was reading but not taking in the information.

I went into town to see my psych. I had to use the bathroom and my zipper busted on me. I couldn’t believe it because it was a new pair of jeans. I was so pissed. I had to make sure I covered myself pretty good with my sweater. Thank god it was long enough. When I came home, I called a tailor place down the street for me. They can fix it for $10. Beats buying a new pair of jeans. I will go there tomorrow and drop it off.

When I got back to the Square, I went to Chipotle. I wanted a burrito. My mother is making fish for supper but I didn’t want it. The burrito was good, though I got guacamole everywhere. I love guac.

My appointment went well. I told her of my ups and downs the past few weeks and also about the pain I have been in. I also told her about my urinary incontinence and she thinks me seeing a urologist is a good idea. She doesn’t know if they can help, other than putting me on another pill to take. I don’t know either. I know I can’t stop the regimen I am on because I need my meds. If I stop my antipsychotic, I will become psychotic. If I stop my pain meds, I will be in a lot of pain. Catch 22 and I don’t like it. I might just have to suck up getting boxer pads so I don’t have to worry about leaking so much. It’s nearly every day now. Sometimes I am aware of it and other times I am not until I go to the bathroom. I don’t feel myself go. Never have because my nerves don’t function properly. Just sucks. My psych said there are male depends so I will look into that rather than diapers. Diapers have been the only thing that I have seen so far. I will ask my support group where they get their incontinence stuff.

I took a shower without too much difficulty after I ate the burrito. I am glad I wear mostly black boxers. It’s raining today and it’s causing me to get a pseudo-migraine. I have a low level headache that is like a migraine but isn’t. I get it whenever it rains. Fricken sucks. I just took some ibuprofen to try and quiet it down. The shower helped a little bit. I haven’t needed my pain meds for most of the day. I hope this is a good sign that I won’t be tortured tonight. I really don’t want a night of pain like I had last night.

any thoughts?

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