random 545

Random 545

I had another hard time sleeping through the night. I woke up several times because of pain and the cold weather. It’s been raining all day today and I slept through most of it. I didn’t really get up till around 1530, when I needed to as I was meeting a friend for dinner. I thought about canceling but it was really too late to call him and tell him forget it.

I had texted my therapist saying I need to cancel our next appointment. I waited around for the female therapist to call me back but she never did. I don’t know if she is going to. I got dressed and caught the bus to the train station. I brought my umbrella so of course it was only drizzling lightly. I got to Boston and met my friend.

We enjoyed dinner and got caught up on things as we haven’t seen each other in a while. I couldn’t finish my meal so took it home. I was full off of appetizers. The check came and my credit card kept asking for a PIN. I didn’t have a PIN as it was a new card. I tried calling but you had to call another number and I couldn’t hear it over the noise of the restaurant. I was embarrassed as my friend then had to pay. This is the second time I have had this issue with this card and I don’t understand why it asks for a pin at retail places. None of my other cards do, unless I use my debit card. It just made me frustrated.

When I got back to the Square to wait for the bus home, I called the number to get a PIN number. Now I shouldn’t have any problems. The bus was late and the stupid bus driver kept missing people’s stops. I felt like reporting her. I was tired and all I wanted to do was go home, take my meds and go to sleep.

Sox are playing though. They are beating the Skankees 5-1 right now. I am in a lot of fucking pain. My “thing” aka foot/ankle is acting up. I haven’t taken any meds for it yet because I can’t decide what to take. I don’t have burning pain so I don’t need to take Neurontin. I can take my regular pain meds as it has been hours since my last dose. I am not in severe pain, least not yet, to warrant taking the strong pain pill. It’s like a guessing game every night as to what to take and when.

I just hope I am able to sleep tonight. I am exhausted and my mother put my ground beef in the freezer, so I can put off making my sauce aka dirty gravy. I don’t think I am going to do anything tomorrow except possibly go to the post office to mail a box for my friend in Canada. The present is for her grandkids. I got them (3) Sox hats as well as for their dad. The boys are so damn cute. I’m jealous she gets to play with them, LOL. I miss my kids being that age.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

2 thoughts on “random 545”

  1. ok catching up. its nice to spend time with friends sometimes its a welcome distraction. its just lousy that pain keeps you from doing so many things. i really feel for you. xo

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