day four of no internet services

Day four of no internet services

I got a lot accomplished today. I woke up before 0800 and decided to go to Starbucks to work on my blog project. I checked my net to see if it was turned on but it wasn’t. I wasn’t going to sit around waiting so caught the next bus to the Square. I had breakfast and my espresso and then got to work. I had two chapters to read and write up to finish the project. I was done by 1130. I included a little conclusion. Then I went to CVS to get a Father’s Day card for my mother. She wanted a 99 cent card but they didn’t have any. I bought one for $4. She may flip but I don’t care. I couldn’t spend all day looking at cards. My ankle was getting angry just walking to CVS. I had to go home and take my meds.

I came home and still no net. I called and they said I should have service after 1400, but it could be until 1700 for the wiring to be completed. Fucking great. So I am typing without distractions from the net. I am tired and want to nap. I really don’t feel like typing up what I wrote as when I opened the document I started, I was on chapter 3, which means I have 7 chapters plus the conclusion to write up. I hope some people are appreciative of this work that I am doing. It has taken me a long while to do because of pain flare ups and depressive mood swings where I don’t want to do anything. I started this book in Feb and I am just finishing it today. Well, it’s almost done, once I get to typing up the seven chapters.

I slept pretty good as when I woke up, I thought it was after 10 as my mother wasn’t up and the house was quiet. Then I looked at the kitchen clock and it wasn’t. I am glad I had a good sleep. I didn’t want to go back to sleep because I would have felt unmotivated to do anything today. I am glad I got out. I had two meals at Starbucks. Lunch was their new protein box of BBQ chicken and carrots. It also contains apples but I didn’t eat them because they had put stuff on it so it doesn’t turn brown and I don’t want to ingest those chemicals. I just ate the sandwich and carrots. I drank an iced tea/lemonade. I got a medium rather than a large.

I am pretty tired. Reading always makes me tired for some reason. I also think I am tired because I have the damn runs from the senna. I have gone to the bathroom three times today. I am physically exhausted. I hope I don’t go anymore or I will take some Imodium. That usually settles things down.

Feet are frozen and it’s 76 degrees today. I had to shut off the ceiling fan because I was cold. I’ve had the AC off since last night as it’s been comfortable. It was supposed to be humid today but it’s not. It will be, of course, humid when I have my therapy appointment on Monday. I am tempted to cancel on him again but I will see him one more time. If I don’t get a vibe from him, I am going to tell him see ya later. I just don’t want to invest in someone that is not going to give a damn about me. I don’t know where I will go. I have this Life Support group that is next door to his office. They contacted me the day I had my first appt with him. I told them I would keep them in mind should I need them. I will contact them on Tuesday if this guy doesn’t pan out. I really would like a male therapist, not that I have anything against females. It’s just out of the 13 therapists that I have had, most of been female. I’d like to see if a male can be better suited to my needs. If not, I will take what I can get, I guess.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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