Saturday Blog 17-Mar-18

Saturday Blog 17-Mar-18

Every time I open my laptop, within 5 fricken minutes I get the Win 10 update thingy that says it needs 8GB of space for security updates. Why does it need 8GB?? I don’t have 8GB because I have a small hard drive that apparently, I cannot upgrade because it is a piece of shit! But I guess you get what you pay for when you only spend $300 for a NEW laptop. I can’t do anything I want to do with this thing. And I can’t have Facebook open for more than 10 minutes without the memory alert going off. Yea, use for internet and email my ass.

I just came back to my room from having dinner with my sister and brother in law’s family. It was good. We spent some time talking and stuff. I was late in taking my night meds but that is okay. I am really tired because I was up at 345 am due to pain. I stayed up till around 7 and then slept for a few hours before I got up to make burritos. I made 3, one to have now and froze the other two. This is the first time I have made a batch. I was watching how to make a burrito on YouTube as I had the concept but could never get the sides tucked in enough. The first one was okay, the second was mediocre. The one I had fell apart because I filled it with too much eggs. Oh well. I will know for next time. It’s hard knowing how much for each when you’re not used to making more than two eggs at a time.

After I ate, I felt dizzy and then got a migraine. I took my blood pressure and it was kind of on the low side so I drank some fluids until I fell asleep. I am just still feeling icky. I hate being up in the middle of the night. The ankle bone pain that I woke up with in the middle of the night has been hurting me for most of the day. I’ve been trying to stay on top of it with meds but it hurts so bad with the storm approaching. I hope tomorrow I will feel better, but there is no guarantee. I just hope I can sleep tonight, all night!

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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