Category: suicide attempt

Grammys not recorded

by Midnight Demon, posted in suicide, suicide attempt

Been lazy most of the day. I have not really left my bed except to use the bathroom and eat something. I have no real appetite. I just had a slice of cake for breakfast and then a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I woke up at 3 pm. I think it’s because I can’t go out because of the snow and potential ice. There are snow drifts higher than me and I just don’t want to risk spraining an ankle or falling down. I need to pick up a couple of prescriptions at the pharmacy but that can wait till tomorrow. School has already been cancelled for tomorrow. It is ridiculous but then the MBTA buses have been stuck in the snow, how is a school bus supposed to maneuver side streets?

I don’t know what I will be doing tomorrow. I am supposed to have therapy tomorrow afternoon but I don’t know if that is going to happen if school in my therapist’s town is cancelled. Right now it hasn’t been yet but that could change. My urges have been decreasing but is still there. I had them today and really wanted to but distracted myself.

I am really pissed that because we had minor power outages last night the Grammys weren’t recorded. I really wanted to see Taylor Swift and Hunter Hayes’s performances. And to see if Hunter won his first Grammy. I haven’t heard anything so I am guessing not. But I did hear Carrie Underwood won.

I haven’t had much traffic on the blog today. Some days are like that. But my AAS blog came out with a research blog today (https://attemptsurvivors.wordpress.com/) It really is an amazing blog.

post 215

by Midnight Demon, posted in Chronic pain, depression, suicide, suicide attempt

Been depressed today. I really didn’t want to do anything but I made a cake and watch game 6 of the ALDS red sox game. I really didn’t do much else. I tried typing up my paper that I wrote last night but I just don’t have the energy to do it. Maybe later.

The urges to cut have been back and forth today. I still have not injured myself. I think it will phase out once I get back to my normal routine with the hormone pills.

I am really pissed off that I can’t convert or burn Carrie Underwood’s CD Carnival Ride, so I have to purchase it again. I can’t even play it because of some license issue. I don’t remember where I bought it, I think I downloaded it at Walmart but I am not sure. This just sucks. More money for music. But I finally found the MP3 of “What hurts the most” so I am happy. I have been going crazy trying to find the Rascal Flatts CD or phone backup that had it. I knew I had it some place and I did. On my old hard drive that is as big as a paperback. I just got a tetrabyte hard drive and it’s like a cassette tape. Those that are older will know what that is. I don’t want to feel old by explaining what it is.

My left leg has been acting up and I just feel like overdosing to escape some where other than where I am at. I might just take some extra Neurontin tonight like I did last night. I just feel like if I don’t do something I am going to go crazy. I just feel so wound up and though I should just start cleaning my room or something I just am so overwhelmed by it that it makes me want to OD more. But I bear it and resist the urges to do so because the last thing I want is a 7 year old finding me in a coma or worse dead.

So yesterday I reformatted my tablet. Totally wiped it out to its original factory settings. In so doing so, I got rid of the encryption that I put on when I had to where I was working. Now I don’t have to. Problem is that I don’t remember what apps I had on there to replace. I know I had my facebook and twitter. Those are my essentials along with wordpress. It was sad that my Zipwhip app was not compatible anymore. My tablet is old as it still is running Android 3.2.1. My phone is running 4.2.1, which is I believe the “Jelly bean” Operating system. Android has funny names for the OS.

by Midnight Demon, posted in suicide attempt

David's avatarThinking About Suicide

A breakthrough! Amazing! I’m chuffed!

The American Association of Suicidology (AAS) have started a blog on their website for suicide attempt survivors. This really is a breakthrough, the first of its kind in the world from a mainstream suicide prevention organisation. I take my hat off to Cara Anna, who is the (formidable) driving force behind this initiative, just a little over a year after creating her own blog for survivor voices…

http://whichtools.wordpress.com

It appears that AAS are maybe beginning to take the survivor voice seriously. If you go to the blog (link below), you’ll see they have other pages on/for survivors, which even includes a link to Suicide Anonymous.

All worth checking out… And, my fellow survivors, you may want to consider writing something for the blog… I will be…

The beginning of a new era? Let’s hope so…

Cheers – David

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by Midnight Demon, posted in suicide attempt

David's avatarThinking About Suicide

1. Waking Up Alive. – http://wakingupalive.com/

Although I’m familiar with the book with this title, this organization in New Mexico is new to me. Looking at their website, they sound terrific, including how they model themselves on the Maytree Respite Centre in the UK. Gosh, we sure need more and more respite homes – refuges, sanctuaries – for suicidal people. Unfortunately, they seem to be closed at the moment due to a "hiatus" in the organisation, which sounds rather ominous. I hope they’re back open for business again soon.

2. Midnightdemon7 – http://midnightdemon.com

A blog by an attempt survivor that is pretty busy – lots of posts and plenty of comments from 170+ followers. The blogger (can’t see their name anywhere yet) seems pretty keen on the concept of ‘psychache’ and the work of David Jobes, which I also regard highly. I’ve subscribed (become a ‘follower) to receive notifications of…

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